Liz's Letters

2012-01-17T20:42:00.001-06:00

When you ask God

He answers.

Just sayin'

Traditions

2012-01-10T20:30:00.007-06:00

Today, I finally downloaded the photographs that I took over Christmas. I love photos, but my camera broke just a week before Christmas and I was so sad. On Christmas morning, I was given a new camera - which I was thrilled with, but the photos sat, imprisoned on the card until today.
When I opened the new camera, I took the memory card out of the old one and simply placed it into the new one.
And this evening, when I saw the images that had been held captive for the past month, I saw this photo and fell in love. It was taken with my old camera, right before it broke and on a night that holds almost as much importance as Christmas itself. The below photo - was taken at the start of the annual tree trimming party. And in the photo, besides the untrimmed tree is our oldest son who loves this particular family event. We have held this night available until the very last days before Christmas when he was in college in Virginia and we were living in Texas - just so he could participate in the trimming of the tree. One time, many years ago, he said to me, "I think I like the night we decorate the tree more than Christmas because of the time we spend together as a family."

He is 27 now, almost a married man, and he, along with his fiance, still spend the night on Christmas Eve so that they can wake up at our home on Christmas morning and be here to see what Santa brought. We all open gifts in our pajamas until mid morning, just like we did when they were little bitty children. What a blessing to still have our family all together and how wonderful it is to know that the traditions that we hoped to create to make memories did just that.

Blessed!

Cold and Warm

2012-01-09T21:33:00.003-06:00

It's January and it's cold outside. Tonight, the rain and wind knock at the walls and windows of my house teasing me as if they could invade the warm, safety of the inside. It's comforting and unsettling at the same time. The two reactions to the night sounds don't mix but I am oh so familiar with the feeling. Contradictory. Opposites. And I think about how many other situations produce similar moods and I find there are many. When I go to work every day, I am thankful for my job, the challenges it brings to my mind, the differences that I can make in peoples' lives, and I want to stay home and retire. Conflict. I give in and indulge in a food, that is high in calories but it tastes so delicious. I know that it will take days to counteract the damage that was done, but the pleasure of the moment wins out. And I am satisfied and dissatisfied. And what is it about watching my children grow up, make choices - both good and bad - and the odd way that I feel proud and sad at exactly the same time. Crying with a smile on my face.
So, I sit in the safe, silence of my home listening to the rain and wind whip around outside and I wonder how to feel.

Parades

2011-12-18T09:59:00.003-06:00

Parades are fun. They are especially fun when you know people who are marching in parades. We recently had the joy of watching our daughter march with her high school band in our community's Christmas parade; yet another "last" in our lives.

We had a lot of fun because our community is fairly small even though we are a suburb of the Dallas Ft. Worth metroplex. Our town (and it is called a town) only has 2 high schools, both of which were represented in our parade, along with every Boy Scout troop, city official, and club. It is like one big Flower Mound party - attended by friends and neighbors - one happy community. I left the parade feeling blessed to be part of a small town community, and really proud of our daughter as she represented her school in the festivities.

Biblical Counseling

2011-12-04T20:42:00.003-06:00

I took a ministry position with my church some time back that I felt ill-equipped to really do. I was assured that I would be provided training.

True to their word (staff at my church), I got the details of the training. In a few weeks, I will begin a 26 week training with The Association of Biblical Counselors

My mind is still trying to grasp what I have gotten myself into! Haha! While doing so, I am mentally preparing myself for going back to school, since that's pretty much what I will be doing. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I am also in awe at how faithful God is.

Eager to see what He has in mind!

Forgiveness - what does it really mean?

2011-11-15T20:00:00.005-06:00

Talking to a counselor and friend today, she made a comment regarding how most people view / understand forgiveness. I agree with her thought that most people, even Christians, don't really understand how to forgive. I know that I didn't. For many years, I thought I had forgiven people because I made the choice to. And I was told that the "feelings" would follow my decision. As a result, I have walked through many years of my life with unforgiveness and therefore, bitterness, holding me back from living life as God would have me live.
I have spent the last three months studying and reading much about forgiveness. One of the most powerful books that I have read is The Gift of Forgiveness by Charles Stanley.
I believed a lot of untrue things about forgiveness, much of which was taught to me by "the church", some I have witnessed, and some I have personally experienced from the receiving end of this non-biblical view of forgiveness. One biggie for me is the reconciliation aspect of forgiveness. The lie that you can forgive someone, specifically another Christian, and choose to not be reconciled is not Godly, true forgiveness. Not to say that unhealthy relationships should not change, but to choose to not be in fellowship with another believer who has confessed and asked forgiveness is sin. Plain and simple.
Whew! This is difficult stuff. But Jesus did not example forgiveness by telling us that He forgives us but does not trust us to not hurt Him again, to not dishonor Him by sinning against Him again and therefore He does not want to be in relationship with us. No, He forgives us and loves us with an unconditional love that says, "Your sins are forgiven and I want to spend all of my time with you....I love you...even though I know you will do it again."
What causes us to believe that our forgiveness of our fellow brothers and sisters is any different, that our forgiveness has conditions? Words like, "I forgive you, but I can't trust you", "I forgive you, but I don't like you." or "I forgive you, but I don't have to be your friend." These are not true, biblical statements.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Forgiven and forgiving.

This is a great book!

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T19:16:00.003-05:00

One last trick or treat!
Link and Zelda
Any true video gamer would know that!

The Year of Lasts

2011-10-23T18:01:00.009-05:00

My blogging friend, Pam, at Abiding With Love made a comment on my Facebook status a week or two ago - calling the time period I am in "The Year of Lasts".

I haven't forgotten it because it is totally what I am feeling. Our baby girl is a Senior in High School...she is the last of 3 children.

And everything, every little thing she does, I am fully aware and thinking,

"This will be the last time I ______________."

It is bittersweet - after all, I do turn 50 in a few weeks, and seriously, all this stuff is making me tired. Chaperoning these away football games on the bus with however many band students, staying out until 1:00 a.m., those days REALLY kick my hind-end! Selecting Senior photos has been an excruciating chore - I want every, single photograph. And it pains me to miss anything, like right now she is at a band competition that I was not able to attend due to a workshop I was committed to. I am obsessed.

So, since my mind is occupied with being the mom of a graduating senior, and the last of three children, and I am barely able to think of anything other than the year of lasts...it is most fitting that I post some photos of the last Homecoming that I will participate in as a parent. In Texas, Homecoming is huge! As you will see with the Homecoming mum photos that I will post. (and also the photo that captured the comment of my blogger friend, Pam!)

The traditional (to Texas) Mum and Garter

Jeremy directing from his favorite spot!

Adam and Thien joined us!

Even Grandma came for the game!


The half-time performance!


Time for Homecoming Dance

Work

2011-09-28T21:20:00.003-05:00

I apologize in advance for anyone who I might offend...
but sometimes you just gotta say what's on your mind.

Workin' too much!

Senior Sneak #2

2011-09-20T21:38:00.002-05:00

Senior Photo Sneak Peek!

2011-09-19T21:30:00.004-05:00

Our lovely daughter.
So proud.

Crazy,Senior, Band Mom

2011-09-18T21:11:00.004-05:00

Life is FLYING by!
A friend of mine texted me yesterday and asked if I was going to make a girls night out in honor of a dear friend who recently finished treatments for breast cancer. I had to tell her "Very sadly, no." I went on to say that I wasn't going to be able to attend the Ladies Bible Study meeting either. My last text to her was, "I am a crazy, senior, band mom."
That's the truth. That's me, alright.
I had no idea that having a senior was going to take so much time. (and money) and that having a senior in the band was going to take even more time (and money).
But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I only get one more Senior year (as a mom) and I am making the most of it. Likely, I will drive my daughter crazy because I plan on attending every football game - even chaperoning the away games (unless I am out of town - like this weekend for work), plan on wearing obnoxious band mom t-shirts, framing gigantic photos and putting them up in our home, and soaking up every moment before the empty nest hits next year.
Today, we spent a couple of hours on a senior photo shoot! How much fun it was! I can't wait to see the proofs. I can hardly believe that my "baby" is a senior in high school and what a beautiful woman she has become.

I am a crazy, senior, band mom. No doubt.

Our daughter and her boyfriend

Powerless

2011-09-12T20:44:00.003-05:00

Powerless.
I am reminded of this again and it is mostly due to the fact that I continually think that I have power - even if ever so slight.
I returned yesterday from a retreat for women in recovery. It is a weekend that I have gone to every year for the past six years. While there, I am very aware of my powerlessness. Powerless against the effects of alcoholism, powerless against loss, powerless against anything, really. And I know that God is the One who is all powerful.
But the very next day, I think I can control the universe.
I know it is a ploy. The devil wants me to believe that I am stronger.
But, I believe him, and regret it.
But, progress, not perfection.

Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Yes, I do believe that.

Wednesday's Wonderful Word - GLORY

2011-08-16T20:59:00.005-05:00

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31

I don't know about you, but often, this passage is so familiar to me that I just read over it. You know what I mean...read it and not really HEAR what it says.

But it says "whatever you do".

Whatever I do?

Yes! Whatever. To me, that means everything.

Everything? Yes, everything!

Wow! That is SO difficult.

I do a lot of things in a day! And in any given week...I do a TON of things!

Granted, I am one of those annoying people that do too much. Yes, I admit it...I do TOO much. One of my greatest weaknesses is trying to do everything. But God does say to do "everything" to the glory of God. But I try to do everything to the glory of Liz. Ah. But it just does not work. Nope. Does not work. Never has. Never will.

I can wear myself out keeping all the balls in the air. Keep my husband happy (I so fail), keep my kids happy (yet again, I fail), be perfect at work (oh, I can't be perfect at work), be a good friend (oh no! I forgot to call her back!!!!!!!) Cook dinner...(does Taco Bell count?) On and on and on.
Somewhere along the day, a ball is going to drop.

Especially if I am trying to keep them up in my own power. No can do.

When I communicate with my husband -(Lord) don't let me think it's so that he will understand MY point of view. Let it be so that God is glorified.

When I talk to my kids...cook for them, be there for them, help them (with weddings, apartments, etc.), let it be about honoring God and they receive the blessing. Not my own desire to glorify my abilities as a mom, but to bring Him glory because He is love, therefore I love.

When I work, and even if I goof up (I forgot to approve payroll for my employees yesterday! My CFO had to do it for me...and it was okay!) God is glorified. He is glorified because I apologized for my mistake. He is glorified because sometimes I do it right. He is glorified because I allow His love to be lived out in my life...even at work.

I might have been a "bad" friend, but He can teach me to love like He does. I might not have made good choices with my money, or my food choices, or how I spent my free time, but He can show me how to be more like Him.

WHATEVER I do....I weigh it against what would bring Him honor and glory.

Tough. Yes, but not as hard as we think when we let Him do the work.

Hoping to glorify Him ....
whatever,

A wedding and a funeral

2011-07-25T20:50:00.004-05:00

This evening, I sent a message to my friend. She and I have the kind of friendship where we might go weeks or months without having a conversation, but she is often on my heart and in my prayers. I invited her to do a book study with me this summer and have totally dropped the ball. My message said, "Can you do lunch this week? Crazy busy here with weddings and funerals."
My next message will be an apology for my neglect.
And she will forgive.

What I know is my friend will forgive me and we will meet, catch up, laugh, maybe even cry a bit...because my life has been busy with a wedding and a funeral - since my friend and I were together a little more than 3 weeks ago. The wedding, I knew was coming (although it came quickly!) but the funeral, not the case. I didn't actually attend the funeral since it was in Washington DC area (a good distance from Texas), but I was there in heart and spirit with my son and his fiance' - the one who lost her father. I loved her father even though I didn't know him well. The time I spent with him, I remember his smile as big and genuine and his eyes as soft and understanding. At our first meeting several years ago, he pointed to my son and said, in broken English, "Your son?" I nodded "yes". He said, "My son too." I knew he loved my son and accepted him as his future son-in-law. I will never forget it. This man survived 8 years as a prisoner of war, held captive in his own country, was finally freed, and moved with his family to the United States just over a decade ago. He survived a battle with cancer, until it returned with a vengeance. He was laid to rest on Saturday.

My son and his future wife made it from Texas, to DC, to see him before he passed and remain there today to help his widow mourn and plan the next few weeks.

I know that there are questions and sadness in the minds of those who are left here; especially his young daughters who didn't have him that long. And I pray that the anger passes quickly, and that they forgive - God, physicians, war - for "taking" him from this life.

My thoughts ponder on forgiveness and why, for some, it comes easier than for others. I remember when I would have been hurt and even resentful if a friend asked me to do a book study and then bailed on me for three weeks. And I haven't lost a parent, but if I get angry about a busy (neglectful?) friend, how will I take the loss of someone I love so dearly?

It doesn't seem that there is much I can do to help my son and his fiance's family - except love them, comfort them and pray. But, I can learn from my friend about forgiveness and rest in knowing that God continues to grow me.

Let me not forget how much I am loved and continue to love those who God has given to me, well.

Wordless Wednesday - Vacation

2011-07-06T21:31:00.013-05:00

Recently, our family enjoyed a little vacation time at the Florida Gulf coast.
Some long time family friends joined us and we had a fantastic time!
Here are some of our favorite memories!

Just arrived

The view from our room

Fun in the Ladies Room

Oh, NOOOOO!!

Sand Castles

A fun Mother/Daughter moment

Let's go fly a kite

Okay!

Alston having too much fun torturing the girls!

The girls having too much fun being tortured!

Good Grief!
They act like they have known each other all their lives!
Wait! They have! haha

Escape

Victory!

Raring to go!

Some, a little more sure than others!

Bye, bye!

There's our kids!

Waiting parents

All safe and sound

Another day at the beach

Lessons on how to canoe

They got it!

EWWWWW!

Family

Jim and Nancy

Fred and Liz

Rebecca and Ashley

They think they are in charge

While shopping, Nancy found my eyes in a pickle jar!
(my nickname is Lizard - and Nancy ALWAYS calls me by my nickname)

This one is a little hard to explain, but we could make optical illusions in the mirror in the hotel lobby. It entertained us for longer than I care to admit, but it was SO fun and funny!

The hotel staff got used to our shenanigans!

Last supper.
:(
We had such a good time!

Blogging

2011-07-05T20:17:00.002-05:00

It has been nearly a month since I posted a blog post. My thoughts about this blog have changed drastically since it began. I just don't have that much to say.
I started blogging because I moved from the east coast to the big state of Texas...and I had friends there who I thought might read my blog to discover what life was like since the move. Then I discovered the power of internet and later found that I didn't really enjoy so many people reading my blog. (this was after I thought it was cool) I have met some people that I would consider friends as a result of blogging and that has been pretty cool. But, blogging just doesn't hold the same pleasure it once did.
hmmm.

Just thinking - aloud - about the direction of Liz's Letters.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-07T20:50:00.002-05:00

In loving memory of
Rusty
April 18, 1996 - June 2, 2011
We will miss you our loyal friend.
You were the very, very best.

Wordless Wednesday - Jimmy Buffett Concert

2011-05-24T19:35:00.006-05:00

Wordless Wednesday
Fred and I went to the Jimmy Buffett concert on Saturday night.
We had not planned on doing so, but when we went to the gym on Saturday morning,
there was a guy in my cycle class who had tickets that he won and could not use.
But...
we could!
So off we went to enjoy the evening.
Here are some photos of our fun time!

Ready to Go!

A little tail-gating before the concert.

What is a tail-gate party without new friends?

We enjoyed getting to know our neighbors.

Let the show begin.

Fun times!

Chapters

2011-05-17T21:10:00.004-05:00

Pages in the story of my life turn every day, every minute every day. And every so often, a chapter is closed. Sometimes I rejoice at the end of a chapter, glad that it is over and other times, I feel sad.

Sunday night, a chapter closed and I spent my last evening as Home Group leader to a group of women who have become very special to me - some over several years and some over just a short period of time.

It is difficult for me to look back and determine the exact start of this chapter, but I recall vividly the story that God wrote on my heart as I lived it. And it will remain one of my favorite chapters, loved and cherished like a favorite book - one you hang on to forever, read over and over again, and lovingly caress when you run across it on the shelf.

It is a story of a question and an answer. A prayer and God's plan. Fear and courage, anger and forgiveness, uncertainty and enlightenment and most importantly God's amazing grace.

And even though I know the story is not about me (it never is), parts of it include the ways that God showed me how much He loves me. He did that by allowing me to pull away from Him and to feel like I was alone. And just when I was certain that I would always be "alone", He would show up so big that I ran back to Him as fast as I could. And when I asked Him what He wanted me to do, He whispered, "Follow Me" and then made the path so bright and so wide that I couldn't see any other way. On the days that I felt I had nothing good in me, He reminded me that I have His spirit.

He used a group of women, from every back ground, ranging in age from 22 to 53, to teach me, to bless me, and show me His love. I think all I did was read a book, or select a scripture, or type an email, or make a phone call. Every two weeks, I ran the vacuum, dusted my family room, and chilled bottles of water and opened my home. I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. And He loved me through these women.

A beautiful leather journal sits on the table beside the quiet place where I spend time with God most mornings. A journal, a gift...a perfect gift for me who loves to record prayer, answers, questions. In that journal are notes from these ladies that confirm the work that God is doing - in my life and in theirs. A scripture was read to me when the gift was presented and so it was the first recording of God's truth as I wrote it down in the book. And I read the notes from these women and prayers are prayed, God's word comes to mind, and love swells as I allow the words to start the new chapter in my life.

These women will always be a part of my life, woven into the story of God's grace and mercy.

I am so grateful and so blessed.

(Here are some of the sweet women from this group.)

You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all.
2 Cor 3:2

Thank you, God.
Thank you, sweet friends.
Love,

Ever Learning

2011-05-01T21:44:00.003-05:00

My children, two of whom are now grown and one almost finished with High School, rarely answered the question, "How was school today?" with any sort of satisfactory answer. It was always, "Fine" or "Boring" or "The same..." - you get the picture. So, somewhere along the way, someone suggested to me that instead of asking, "How was school today?" I ask, "What did you learn in school today?"
Wow!
What a difference that made. (sometimes)
It was a way of transforming the question, to get to the answer that would really help me understand what was (sort of) going on with my kids.
Now, I find myself asking ME that question, but with a twist.
What did I learn today?
or What did I learn from that?
Today, I feel like I have learned a lot.
I have learned that even though I think I know something, I still need to be reminded. Especially when it comes to things about God - and myself - and obedience.
And I learned that I might think I know something and I really didn't know anything at all.
May I never stop being a learner.

Don't

2011-04-28T22:03:00.004-05:00

Ran across this tidbit recently...
LOVE it
but wish I have lived it for all my life

Don't do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset.

Rushing Water

2011-04-27T21:06:00.010-05:00

I spent an hour rambling to a friend, one that I trust to hear the unedited and not judge.
She listened, so patient.
Like a rush of water my thoughts poured from my mouth as if they had been frozen
and thawed by the warmth of the sun.
Gratitude surrounds me- she was there to sift the important from the unimportant as I heard myself let go of what I hold onto but is not mine to hold.
I see the tracks where they have passed by here...he? she?
and I wonder why? Why does he watch, quietly as if I cannot see him behind the silence.
But the traces are there and I know. I wonder. I worry. Is the anger still there? The fear?
Why does he come by here? Does he care or does he hate?
My God stirs in me the searching of my own decisions, looking deep into why I care.
But I love. I forgive. I want desperately to know but I breath in
and out
to release that I may never know.
I give up, I surrender.
There is no fight, no anger, no revenge, nothing left
but God.
Love.
And I know...
my God has been there, in my heart.
Like a storm rolling through, my words, they roll out.
The thunder now crashes, distant and the lightening, now quick and dim.
The anger and hurt that threatened so close, now faded.
"Not since February 2, 2008..." I hear myself say. I decided, 'never again' -the pain would wound with words, ceased. The final scream of rage released from my lips and from my soul as I relinquished control and turned it over -to God. And He took it. It was always His. And he took my friend, too, to protect and to heal. Us.
I let go.
Tonight, my own words sound so calm, so...healed. I know it's not me who has done this work. And I feel in my heart, deep,
deep
in my heart
that I wish I could fix what I held onto too tight
and I squeezed all the life, all the love from
But I see traces and signs that something is there. Maybe fear? Maybe caution?
Maybe love?
he's been here. I pray and I wonder, "Why?"
Should I fear? or rejoice? or hope?
And the plum line drops.
There is no fear when I walk in the light.
I rejoice in knowing that there is always hope.
He is true to His promise that when He begins a good work, He will carry it on until it is complete. It is not over. He is not finished.
The forcefulness of the water slows to a steady drip, drip, drip.
My words slow as I realize that I can trust -
maybe not he who quietly peeks into the windows of my life-
but the One who holds the key to the doors and guards me as the apple of His eye,
who protects me in the shadow of His wings,
and who will not let me fall.

I am His,

Insomnia

2011-04-27T02:15:00.003-05:00

It's 2 a.m. and I can't sleep.
Sometimes this happens, it might be part of menopause. ugh. Or maybe I just can't sleep.
Whatever the reason, I don't mind tonight because I have lots to think about.
My friends, Wendy and Scott, got to meet their child today - A GIRL! Right now she lives in an orphanage in Moscow, but in a couple of months, she will come home to the U.S.A.! I am so excited for them, I can barely sleep!
And, I am starting to help plan a wedding! Yes! My son and his fiance' have finally narrowed down a wedding date! Not until next May...but...let the wedding plans begin!

Suffering

2011-04-08T20:43:00.004-05:00

I really don't like to think about suffering but I know it is part of life. And when things are going really well for me, I struggle a little because I know I am not doing anything right - I am just in a good place for now. The next trial, the next crisis, the next ... something... will certainly come along eventually.

Suffering is everywhere and nobody is exempt. I have lived through my own bouts of this and it started early in my life like many others. Some of the things I have suffered have been relatively small, but some of them have been great and life changing. I work in a place where every patient admitted has experienced some sort of trauma which brings them to our hospital. They suffer. My dear friend admitted her 16 year old daughter to an inpatient drug and alcohol addiction rehab hospital yesterday. Lots of suffering. Another has lost her husband after many years of marriage. She suffers. And my pastor is battling malignant brain cancer. Suffering.

There is a website (The Resurgence) that I love to follow. So much teaching, truth, and things to challenge my growth, that I could spend hours here. Today, I found a message from my pastor, Matt, and he is sharing a message on suffering. I have witnessed his battle and God's victory in the last year and a half as Matt fights his cancer. And I learn, am challenged, and am humbled every single time I hear him share on this subject. I pray that God's sovereignty, God's peace, and our need of Him is poured into all who happen upon this message.

He whispers loudly

2011-04-07T21:52:00.003-05:00

The sun warms my head as it pours through the open sunroof of my vehicle. I feel like a teenager who has just been set free to drive in the sun with the radio blasting, sunglasses on, - and joyfully alone - for the first time. Excited. Elated. Life is good and I am just soaking it up.

It's my lunch hour and I am leaving a meeting where God did one of His amazing God things. He answered a question so loudly, so clearly, that I can barely even talk about it because I sound crazy. You know, one of those stories where you want to tell it, but you think anyone who hears won't possibly believe you are telling the truth. Am I convinced God is so powerful that He would make words come from one person's mouth to another person's (my) ears with no hint, no questions asked out loud, but the answer is exactly, I mean EXACTLY what was requested? Yes. So, I return to work with a sense of awe and carry on with my tasks, remembering every now and then to whisper, "Thank you."

The work day ends and traveling home my thoughts turn to another question nagging at my serenity. I remember how BIG He is and so I ask Him, "Should I?" or "Shouldn't I" get outside of what is comfortable and try something different, something new? It is for my own growth, for my own well-being, isn't it? But it is scary, and I feel the need to evaluate my motives. Am I angry? No. Hurt? A little, but it's not a resentment, it will pass. Am I crazy? No. I need to take care of myself. So I go. It feels odd and uncomfortable, but I sit and wait, and listen, and share. The topic? Taking care of ourselves. Sigh. And again, I realize God has spoken, answered. I am there and I am turning my life and my will over to the care of God, taking care of myself by letting Him take care of me. And He assures me again. And I whisper, "Thank you."

I call out to the LORD,
and he answers me from his holy mountain.
Psalm 3:4

God of Victory

2011-04-02T22:25:00.004-05:00

Last night I was blessed to attend a very special worship service at my church...the celebration of The Village Church's latest CD. God of Victory CD was released yesterday and remarkably was ranked number 22 overall on iTunes...not in the Christian music genre - but overall. This is really cool, but not as cool as the wonderful way that God is glorified in this great blessing and the way that His love is being spread throughout the country, even the world through this CD. What humble talent I witness in the musicians that lead worship where I worship. Some of these songs, you may recognize, some of them, you won't. One is a big hit on the radio right now and our gifted Michael Bleeker's name is credited; along with a well-known singer, song-writer. I giggle, because when I first heard Glorious Day on the radio, my thought was, "Hey...how are they singing a song from The Village Church?" ha ha! We had been singing it in our worship service for some time - I had NO idea that Mark Hall helped write it.

Anyway...I cannot express my gratitude that God brought us to Texas, plucked us out of a situation where God was not being honored, where I thought I might never attend another church again, and He orchestrated events so that our family would end up where we are now. So much healing has occurred; in me, in my family, in relationships, and most importantly in my relationship with God.

When I listen to these songs, I am reminded of the only thing that matters - Jesus Christ. I know that because of Him, I live.

Check it out for yourself!

God of Victory

The Village: God of Victory "The Vision" from The Village Church on Vimeo.

Rejoicing in Him!

Spending My Time - His Time

2011-03-23T20:23:00.007-05:00

I sit at my computer, staring at my own blog as if it belongs to someone else. Some days it feels that way. Like today.

Who is that person who had thoughts that overflow and bubble out of her heart and mind with nowhere to go except to put words together and ...

And what?

And pretend that what I have to say is interesting? No.

Not really. It might be interesting to me. I believe that it might be interesting to God, but I don't need to post it on a public blog for Him to find out about it. And even most of my family members and close friends are probably "caught up" enough on my life to not even need to pop over here and find out what's on my mind.

But, here I am...computer screen in front of me, beckoning purpose, expression of life and of wonder. And the thoughts that turn to prose press on me to let them loose, as if they were alive, and begging to be freed.

The past few weeks (I have been absent for a while), my mind has been occupied and busy with things that are not of my choosing, but things that I am responsible for - and with joyful acceptance. Policies. Procedures. Patient Rights. Advance Directives. Charity Care Guidelines. And Patient Safety. The hospital that I work for, just completed our first accreditation survey. Grueling. Detailed, and precise. But my mind works well under this kind of pressure and although it is tough, it is invigorating to be a part of and witness to a dream turn to a reality and help patients, who have experienced a trauma that has changed their life forever, move to a healing that will allow them to live at home, with or without help, but not hospitalized forever.

Stroke patients who come to our hospital and cannot speak, go home with words to express what they need, what they want, and who they love. Ones who cannot walk because their brain has forgotten how to make their legs move, and the ones who's finger's forget how to hold a fork - they all re-learn how to live.

A young man, who at 3 a.m. one morning, wraps his car around a pole and survives. Brain injury so severe that he cannot remember how to eat, but leaves to go home with his parents, able to speak, to walk, to communicate, and to hope for a life that he knows he is lucky to have.

The old woman who has fallen 5 times in 2 days and is so weak that she is unsafe at home; leaving with equipment and tools to keep her safe as she walks from her bed to the restroom.

And it goes on and on.

And I can think of nothing to say. Nothing to share that you might want to read.
All I can think of at the end of this day is we are all here, for the time that God has given us. And if you are reading this, be grateful. You are able.

And I am too.

What a gift, and I forget when I wake in the morning and it's another day, of policies and procedures, of Patient Rights, and Important Messages from Medicare, Advance Directives, and payment agreements, and insurance benefits, charge codes, lab procedures and charity care. And it is another day. Just another day?

But what a glorious day it is. And I might not have sang a hymn or worship chorus at church or even in my car, and I didn't participate in communion today, or give an offering, teach a Bible Study, or give to the poor, but I lived my life, the life that God has placed me in, to His glory. And I might not have shared the gospel today, but I lived it. And every person I saw who is alive, I praised God knowing it was by His grace and mercy that they are here right now (especially the ones in my hospital), and every patient that I represent, or protect, I am a servant of God.

So, I might not have much to write about....
but I have been busy.
And for that I am grateful.

Live like it's heaven on earth,

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
Col. 3:23

Multitude Monday - One Thousand Gifts

2011-02-28T20:05:00.003-06:00

Cycle Shoes are actually pretty awesome. I have been reluctant to spend the money on shoes that cost so much extra simply to imprison my foot to a pedal. But, I broke down and did it....
I love them!

My son and I went to the local nursery and browsed through (and purchased) gardening plants.
What fun! What a gift to be able to share a common interest with my son and his fiance'.

Hard work that feels satisfying even when exhausted. I love being tired because I accomplished something and am so grateful to have the opportunity.

Friends that I can call when I feel like I don't have a friend. haha! True. One of my biggest temptations in feeling sorry for myself is to feel like I don't REALLY have any friends. But, I know I really do, especially when I can call some of them and tell them that's how I feel and they understand (and love me anyway). Now, THAT is a true friend.

Big, fat, burritos on a patio with a couple of those really good friends. A twenty plus year friendship is a very, very fantastic gift.

Even after nearly 3 months, my 5 minute commute to work is an awesome thing! Thank you, God!

My husband and daughter were able to go on a Father Daughter retreat. They spent good time together, enjoyed some family friends that go back almost 15 years, and learned some important things about the differences between "men" and "women". Our daughter has experienced some very good counsel on what to look for in a Godly spouse, and the information could be life changing. So be it.

Weight loss. I am grateful that when I gain extra pounds over the holidays and on vacations, that I am in the pattern of loosing it instead of living with it. I am on a quest to be the best that I can be when I turn 50 this fall.

Two of our three children have college educations. Sometimes, I still find that hard to believe and I will be always grateful!

The joy of the Lord. Oh, what a wonderful gift!

Birthday Celebration - 17!!!??!!

2011-02-27T17:59:00.013-06:00

I think it is pretty cool to be born on a holiday...
especially if that holiday is Valentine's Day.
Our lovely daughter turned 17 on Valentine's Day
And a 2 Day celebration took place.
My advice to her long ago was,
"Don't accept a combo-gift for Valentine's Day on your Birthday."
We (her father and I) always buy her birthday gifts
AND a Valentine's Day gift.

What a beautiful young lady!
Happy Birthday!

sweet

The Girls!

Brother, Adam, and future sister-in-law, Thien

Spoiled rotten by Adam and Thien

What a look!

Brother Aaron and girlfriend, Sofi

Proud and happy parents

Hahahaha!

awww...

Gifts

Birthday cake(s)

I have not shared my motherly advice with Rebecca's boyfriend.
She says she didn't tell him either.
He must be an intelligent young man.
He brought her Valentine's Day gifts before school on Monday

And Birthday gifts in the evening.

A Mother Daughter photo - before Rebecca's date with Jeremy
And before her father and I went out to celebrate Valentine's Day.
(and the fact that she had a date so that we could celebrate together...not often in the last 17 years - the disadvantage to having a child on a holiday.)

Wow!
What a happy day!

Special Visit and Big Announcement

2011-02-27T17:37:00.008-06:00

Thien and Adam on the day of their engagement - also her birthday.

Something has happened that we have been waiting for for a very long time! Our oldest son and his girlfriend of the last 3 and a half years got engaged recently! They asked me to not say anything on a "public" internet site (ie., blog, facebook,...) because they wanted to make certain that all her family had been informed. Since some of her family still lives in Vietnam, and her parents live in the Washington DC area, we wanted to honor the request that everyone be informed before the big announcement.

But now...I can announce it...our son, Adam, and Thien, are officially engaged! Yay! No date for the wedding is set at this time, but I know they will figure out when that will be in the proper amount of time.

So, Thien's parents were able to make a trip to Texas! And her sister too! What fun we had as we celebrated that our families will be united as a result of our children. We had so much fun that we didn't remember to take many photographs. I think there are some on my phone? We enjoyed cooking for one another and we played Dance, Dance Revolution which was hilarious!
We are so blessed to have Thien and her family as part of our lives!

CONGRATULATIONS!

ADAM AND THIEN!

Thien, her parents, and Rebecca

Thien's sister

Thien's parent's with Adam and Rebecca

Winter Arrival

2011-02-05T20:33:00.002-06:00

Monday night, while we were sleeping

it began.
Groggy, I hear the unmistakable sound...
I've heard it before
"tsk", "tsk", "tsk",
Rapid hits on the glass of windows, on the roof.
Wind whirling
trees creek and groan
as ice hugs limbs and cracks as wind blows.
And I know, it is here.
The storm arrived as expected,
sleet, ice, then snow
Bitter cold, bones ache.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday...
ice and cold
ice and cold
Silent slumber under warm quilts
snow falls
quiet
white
on dark, dark night.
Friday ice is covered with soft, bright, blanket
Children cheer
No school again!
Four days now!
Winter has come.

Rebecca and Jeremy and snowman
They walked, meeting half way,
no parents would allow driving.
But even 17 year olds
still enjoy
playing in the snow.

The sun was out today!
(I am grateful)
More snow forecast this week.
Winter has come.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-01-26T21:34:00.003-06:00

So....
I know the title of this post says wordless Wednesday
but considering there have been zero words on this blog for a week and a half
(even my sister fussed at me for being so negligent)
I thought I would tag on a few thoughts.
I selected this photo from our recent cruise because it reminds me of a wonderful time.
One of the reasons I really enjoy vacations is because they create memories.
but the memories disappear from our minds and thoughts so quickly
and I want to keep them fresh.
When I look at this photo, the sights, sounds, and smells of the ocean fill my mind and my heart.
I feel serene, peaceful, and grateful.
This is good because since our return, I have been making preparations
(with a group of outstanding coworkers)
to open a hospital...
now in just a few days.
There is something very, very satisfying about making something from nothing.

I wonder
How did God feel when He created the earth and all that is in it?
And I stop ...
in awe...
of how big He is
and how small I am.
And He loves me.
Amazing.
Grace.

Multitude Monday One Thousand Gifts

2011-01-17T20:47:00.003-06:00

Taking time to be grateful...

for

Heat. Every Monday since I started my new job, our building has not had heat. This would not be so bad except it has been bitter cold outside, Texas or not. And I REALLY do not like the cold. We don't really know what is going on with the heating system, but today, when I got to work and discovered the cold, I drove home, picked up a blanket, and went back to work. It warmed up as the day went on, so we must have gotten heat, but I am so grateful to be in a heated environment.

Friends. Real friends. These gifts surface at exactly the right time, and honestly, there was a time not that long ago that I wondered if there is such a thing as real friends, and if there is...would I really ever have them? Well, I have had them all along. I forget sometimes when I get cynical. But, I have them - that's for sure! And they just get better and better.

Reading. I am grateful that I have the ability to read. And I read all day long - various types of things, but reading is a huge part of my life. Through reading, I get to know God when I read his word, I read at work to find out what I am supposed to do, I read to learn how to do things, and I read for entertainment.

Patience. Other people's patience especially. I observed my daughter's boyfriend exhibit outstanding patience this evening.

Memories. Recently, I read through some old journals, letters, and cards. It brought back some memories. Some time back, I would have thought some of the memories were "bad" memories, but there is an old cliche' "Time heals all wounds". I find this to be true. Most of what I thought was "bad" just "is" now, and even some of what was painful, now brings joy. And an old friend who I thought I lost, is not lost at all. She is in my memories (and she still reads this blog sometimes). That's not lost or bad...and for that, I am grateful.

Cold medicine. Yep. I am grateful because it keeps the symptoms of the common cold from bothering me too much. I can carry on with most of my regular activities, even when I have a cold.

Cycle class. I found a form of regular exercise that I enjoy, even look forward to. I can go at various times too...and tomorrow I will go at 5:45 a.m. Crazy, I know, but I really like cycle class. Thank you, God, for answering my request to help me stay diligent in my exercise. (yes, even when I have a cold)

My husband. This one is constant - and so is he. Not perfect, but a great husband.

Serenity. I remember when I felt my life was unmanageable. I am so grateful for the day I decided that I might be able to benefit from a 12 step program. I will only look back with gratitude.

Forgiveness. I have learned to forgive. And I have been forgiven. Sadly, not all the damage is repaired (thinking of "Memories" and lost relationships), but forgiveness is what makes that paragraph a happy one. I pray that the ones still feeling hurt will find the same freedom in forgiveness.

Feeling grateful.

Friday Fill-ins

2011-01-14T21:28:00.003-06:00

Whew.
The week is over and I am so tired!
But it was a fantastic, wonderful, fulfilling, and joyful week.
The hospital I am working for is close to being open for our first admits and even though that is very exciting, I have been awake a few nights in the middle of the night since I am the one responsible for getting those patients checked in, with insurance verification...
so we can get paid.
I love it.
But the details swim through my head at the most inappropriate time,
like 1:15 a.m.
And honestly, I am flat worn out mentally.
I have good friends who have kept me encouraged.
Thanks to my best, best friends...
getting me out in the middle of the day and going to lunch,
sending sweet "thinking of you" emails,
dinner with my prayer partner/accountability partner that lasted until bedtime,
and the most surprising...
my new co-workers.
Working together for a little over a month now, but we all agree, feels more like a lifetime...
and family.
New for me to enjoy spending time with people I work with
when I am not at work
and blessed to have spent 2 nights this week with some great, gifted, and exceptional women.
As I prepare to go to bed and read a book
(The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo)
I thought I would post a little entertainment.
Friday Fill-in (the blank)

And...here we go!

1. Right now I need sleep...just sleep.

2. Water is what's in my glass - it was Riesling earlier, but just a little. :)

3. A copy of this letter remains tucked away to remind me of how far God has brought me since the time it was written.

4. Peanut Butter is best with a spoon.

5. The best movie I've seen lately is Public Enemies; Johnny Depp was great and I was routing for the bad guy - I couldn't help it!

6. Some of the things I like; turn into things I love.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Girls Night Out with my co-workers, tomorrow my plans include cycle class, shopping with my oldest and closest friend, and worship services at The Village Church, and Sunday, I want to relax in the morning and have my kids over for family dinner!

Hope your weekend is great too!

Multitude Monday - One Thousand Gifts (80-89)

2011-01-10T19:14:00.003-06:00

I wish it weren't so difficult for me to stop and take the time to think about the many things that I have to be grateful for. It seems it is when things are going well, dare I say even almost perfect, that enjoying all my blessings hinders my ability to s.t.o.p. and savor them and to thank God for them. My life is a holy experience, filled with the gifts that God showers upon me.

My beloved husband, who still, after more than 30 years, leaves me love notes under my pillow when he goes out of town.

Pulling into the garage and the door swinging open and my beautiful teenage daughter waiting and hanging out with me and helping me cook dinner. Her singing, and playfulness give me energy even after a long day.

And long days, like today, that although long, bring satisfaction and joy at being productive.

So grateful to be able to say (and mean it) "I love my job!"

My sister-in-law's pathology report coming back with no further malignancy after a double mastectomy. Thank you, Gracious Father.

Thinking back to last week, when our family was on vacation together...the laughter, the relaxation, and the sound of my family sleeping (and breathing...dare I say, snoring?) all in the same room.

The tears that came to my eyes when I dove underwater in the clear, blue Caribbean sea and laid eyes on the undersea world; the beauty took my breath away.

My pastor's MRI scan, clear of any evidence of brain cancer. Thank you, Gracious Father, again!

A warm home, cozy and safe while it snows outside.

And knowing that the snow is short lived in Texas because I really do NOT enjoy snow.

~

Resolve

2011-01-07T20:23:00.003-06:00

New Year's Resolutions sort of get on my nerves. Why do we think that because we go to sleep one night and wake up the next morning that our motivation or our strength to make huge life changes will happen just because one number changed on the year of our calendar?

Okay, I get the new year, new beginning thing, but we have that same opportunity often. Every day is a new day. Every hour is a new hour, and even a minute gives us the gift of a new start and another opportunity to make a better choice than we might have made the moment before.

Not to say that I am not for setting goals because I certainly am, but it annoys me just a little that lists upon lists of resolutions are made at this time of year and so few of them are achieved. I wonder if it is because we make a list of 5, 10, even 50 things that we want to do differently, add to our lives, or resolve to stop doing and in all reality, to make one major change at a time and stick with it is so much more achievable.

So my New Years Resolution? It is to continue looking for opportunities every day to grow, to love, to be healthier, to make a difference, and to honor God. Those chances happen every day and I don't want to miss them when God brings them to my attention. And to resolve? Blech. My mind rebels against the very thought. Resolve sounds like it is something I would be doing in my own power, and even sounds a little like "white knuckling" my way through something. If that's the case, it's guaranteed failure for me. I am weak on my own. God's power is the only way that I can make any real change in my life.

Just thinking....

Wordless Wednesday

2011-01-05T07:26:00.001-06:00

We are back and we had a fantastic time!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-28T19:48:00.003-06:00

Oh, yeah.....
See you next week!

Christmas is Love

2010-12-26T21:30:00.004-06:00

Ahhh.

It's Sunday night, all the boxes and wrap are back in the attic, the gifts all carried away to new homes, the feast is dwindling and able to fit nicely into plastic containers, and another Christmas celebration has come and gone in the Russell home.

Our middle son's girlfriend had her first "American" Christmas. It was so much fun to give her gifts (from Santa) and from us and to watch her amazement at all the crazy chaos involved in our holiday traditions. Our oldest son and his fiance' actually spent the night (even though they only live 15 minutes away) so they could be here when we all woke in the morning. In fact, they woke first (MIRACLE!) and made us yummy Vietnamese coffee with biscotti for us to enjoy while the stockings were unpacked. And my mom was here too. It is just not the same when she is not able to be here for our holiday celebrations. Hubby, Daughter, and I, all relished in having a "full house" for Christmas. I love the sounds of everyone laughing, the cooking, and even the cleaning. The music is constant and the lights twinkle all day and all night. It's so magical.

But it's not perfect. I still get tired and cranky when I feel like I am doing too much. I still feel disappointed if things are not perfect and still take too much responsibility in trying to make sure everyone is happy. What? It's not just like Norman Rockwell?

Nope.

Ahhh.

It is what it is though, and although we aren't the perfect family, there is a lot of love going on at this time of year - and all through out.

So, I will spend the next few days (weeks?) thinking of ways that I can stream line the celebration process now that our family is expanding. Eight people on Christmas morning is a lot of presents...and food...and showers, blow dryers, towels, ....

and love.

That's what this whole thing is about. Love.

God so loved the world ...

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T10:56:00.002-06:00

In Honor of the Graduate

2010-12-19T08:18:00.006-06:00

He looked so serious, so still as he sat there
Clothed in black robe, square cap balanced just right
"He looks more like you than I realized", I whispered to his father
"He looks more like my dad", he whispers back
Wetness gathers in the bottom of my eyelids
Time has gone so fast
A second college graduate in our family
The children God created through our love
so many years ago, I couldn't imagine this day
"The Middle Child" this one
loved with a great big love
but always in between and sometimes feeling left out
Yesterday would not have happened without
his dedication, his hard work, and his perseverance.
Thinking back to the little boy with the big blue eyes,
the big round glasses and the hair sticking up.
Thinking ahead to the young man who will carry a weapon
in law enforcement, community service.
My heart fills with pride, with joy, with fear
and I know that he is in the hands of God.

Congratulations to our wonderful son!
UNT Graduate from the College of Public Affairs and Community Service
Degree in Criminal Justice

We are so proud of you!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-15T22:53:00.003-06:00

Family Day at Galleria Mall.
Still no time for words.
Merry Christmas!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-08T21:12:00.002-06:00

I love, love, LOVE my new job but I am so busy! Miss blogging, but will be back soon!

There is a photo of my new workplace for Wordless Wednesday!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-01T15:33:00.007-06:00

Multitude Monday, One Thousand Gifts, 71-79

2010-11-29T20:27:00.005-06:00

Reflecting as the month of November comes to a close, it is easy this month to list the multitude of ways that God tells me He loves me. He whispers at times, but this month, He bellowed it from the heavens, in loud, undeniable ways. "I love you, my daughter, Liz! Let me show you!"

This week I heard Him.

71. Celebrating. I love holidays and this time of year is like the peak of wonderful for me! It starts with my birthday and doesn't end until New Years. I always feel like it's one big party.

72. Perfect timing. God's timing is so perfect. He brings the right people at just the right time, and as odd as it sounds, He removes people at just the right time. I saw that going both ways this week. Amazing.

73. Silly as it sounds, the fact the the Thanksgiving meal went off without a hitch. I only had a one minute or less panic attack, but otherwise, all the food timed out perfectly, tasted wonderful, and we even tried new recipes!

74. Antibiotics. Both my daughter and myself have officially been diagnosed with sinusitis. Luckily, we have seen the doctor and will be on the mend soon.

75. I was able to complete almost all of my Christmas shopping in one weekend! I really do think I am finished...and this is fantastic! I have a few little things to pick up, but all that is left is the fun stuff now; no lists to carry around, no sales to watch for, f.i.n.i.s.h.e.d.

76. Quiet time. Every morning at 5:30 a.m., I sit down with my God, who I am crazy in love with and every morning when I get up, I can't wait until it is time to sit with Him again.

77. When I listen to my children, now grown and nearly grown, I thank God for the way that He has blessed me in the fact that they have learned to love to celebrate the way I prayed that I might teach them to. My kids love to celebrate the holidays and they love the rich traditions that we have developed.

78. Pool covers. What a great invention and I am grateful that my husband has covered our pool for the winter. It is not fun when you have to put your hand in sub-zero temperatures and with the cover, we probably won't have to do that!

79. My husband. He never ceases to amaze me. He stays calm in the craziest of storms (even though he crazily can storm in the calm?) and is a solid rock. God was thinking when He gave me this man!
Enjoy the last couple of days of November!

Young pastor turns struggle with cancer into year of teachable moments | News for Dallas, Texas | Dallas Morning News | Latest News

2010-11-28T08:03:00.001-06:00

Young pastor turns struggle with cancer into year of teachable moments | News for Dallas, Texas | Dallas Morning News | Latest News

I am blessed and grateful to be under the spiritual leadership of this man as my pastor.
God answers prayer.
He is faithful.

Stuffed

2010-11-27T20:53:00.001-06:00

Stuffed.

That is how I feel - and it has been 2 days since Thanksgiving.

I am still stuffed.

Stuffed full of food, yes. Also stuffed full of love.

My day before Thanksgiving post was a little grouchy.

I don't take well to things being changed, especially at the last minute and especially on holidays.

But, I did decide to start my day over.

And our Thanksgiving holiday was great!

Feeling very blessed, and thankful...and

stuffed.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-24T00:01:00.002-06:00

Hurry and be tomorrow already!

2010-11-23T17:39:00.004-06:00

I want to start the day over today. Thankfully, it is almost over, so if I just hang on, I will be asleep soon and tomorrow is another day. Today is a day I am grateful to not be living by the Jewish calendar and starting my day at sundown. Well, scratch that! If it is sundown as I type, than technically, I can call it a new day.

Whatever!

It has just been one of those days. You know, where you wake up not feeling good, go to work anyway, feel terrible and wish you weren't there, and then get home and wish you were back at work? Yeah, I am having one of those days!

It is at times like these that I know that I really can start my day over whenever I want. This is a program tool that I love, even though I sometimes have a hard time using it - like today. I am trying to "finish" up some things at work as I prepare to vacate my position. The girl I am supposed to train is on vacation this week. And I really am not feeling well. I feel like I am drowning in mundane tasks that everyone wants completed before I leave and I struggle with feeling resentment and anger.

Our Thanksgiving celebration is not turning out exactly like I had hoped. It's all okay, just a couple of "key" visitors that are not going to make it which has caused me to have to make yet ANOTHER trip to the grocery store (my dear husband volunteered though - yay him!) What bothers me more than the shopping is the underlying question as to what (if anything) might really be going on. And even though I chose to keep these thoughts inside my head, my kids expressed them without my even saying a word. And you know what happens when a mama feels her kids are hurting...not good. And again I struggle with resentment and anger.

To top it all off, I allowed myself to react to a comment that I wish I had let roll off of me. I canceled my house cleaner who was coming tomorrow. My house really isn't that dirty, and I will be home tomorrow to do the little bit of cleaning that needs to be done, but still... (pout, stomp) What was I thinking? Resentment and anger are bubbling just below the surface.

I want to wallow there, and if not there, then I could spend some time with self-pity and self-doubt. Each, like those little devils, perched on each of my shoulders, whispering into my ears, Resentment and Anger saying, "What a jerk!" (about the person who I feel wronged by) or Self-pity and Self-doubt saying, "Look how stupid and incapable you are - no wonder these things happen to you."

But, I know there is another way. I can acknowledge that I have been hurt. And my kids too. And I can take ownership of my own actions that I regret (canceling the house cleaner) But I do not have to choose to listen to those thoughts that only frustrate and paralyze me. I can let go and let God. I can choose to enjoy the day anyway - starting right now. I will be aware that when I am tired and not feeling well, that I am more susceptible to stinking thinking, and I can make choices to stop those thoughts in their tracks. If I really am having trouble, I can call a trusted friend for help.

And I will not forget that I have my God who gives the greatest help!

What a relief it is to give up and move into a new day!

Made to Crave - Lysa TerKeurst

2010-11-23T08:50:00.000-06:00

Especially since I entered my 40's, I have noticed that the pounds keep pounding upon my body! Two years ago, I started taking exercise much more seriously and eating healthier choices, generally speaking, and by making these two changes, managed to drop 25 of the extra pounds that were weighing me down. But that was a year and a half ago, and I have another 20 that I just keep holding on to! I have evaluated it, prayed about it, found accountability partners, tried diets, pills, etc., but this last 20 pounds seems to be permanantly fixed to my body! AGH! It seems there is more involved than just my love of food, eating, and cooking, but that there is a spiritual problem going on here. Could I have allowed food to become an idol? A "friend" that I turn to when I want comfort?

I love the title of Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Made to Crave. It releases soon and I cannot wait to read it! Check out this little video! You might want to read it too. (just sayin'....)

Multitude Monday, One Thousand Gifts, 61-70

2010-11-22T08:44:00.004-06:00

Thanksgiving is this week and gratitude is the hot topic. People are taking time to think about and be thankful for their blessings at work, in worship services, in thier families, and in the media. Let us remember all that we have to be thankful for all year round! Gifts this week -

61. My birthday. I am grateful for having celebrated turning age 49!

62. My husband who knows exactly how to pamper me!

63. Thai Yellow Curry - prepared for me by my son, Aaron, and his girlfriend, Sofi. This was part of thier gift to me and it was fantastic!

64. God's word. It never grows old, it always changes, and it teaches me and challenges me at exactly the right time in exactly the right way.

65. Flowers. I love fresh flowers. They make the most mundane day seem special and the special days even more perfect. A friend who knows me well left a fresh bouquet on my porch on my birthday and they are still filling my home with frangrance and beauty!

66. Spending Saturday morning at the Asian market with my future daughter-in-law. We had so much fun and bought so much good stuff!

67. My daughter's creativity. She made the most amazing birthday card! I don't know where she gets her artistic ability but she could go into business!

68. The warm weather we had in Texas over the weekend. Even though I am ready for it to be cool, we had to winterize our swimming pool over the weekend. I am glad that it was warm when I had to stick my hands in the water.

69. Anti-inflammatories. At 49, I am very, very grateful for these type of drugs.

70. Prayer.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Birthday!

2010-11-19T10:34:00.005-06:00

Today is a special day. It is the first day of my last year in my forty's.
I am a little anxious about this, but overall, excited. There is something about knowing that 50 is one year away that causes me to experience a deeper motivation to live life to the fullest.

Yesterday, I resigned from my current position. Fifteen months ago I accepted a position with a group of cardiologists in Dallas, thinking that it would be a good move to bring more satisfaction in my work life. Long story short, it did not turn out that way. (I don't think that was even a short story, but bear with me.) Although I met some people that I really liked, and enjoyed working with the doctors in that practice, it just really did not satisfy my desire to learn, to lead, and to make a difference. I have tried hard not to complain, and only a few close friends know how I really felt about my job there and I have prayed fervently (and with others) that God would open the door to an opportunity more suited to my "career goals", for lack of better words.

He answered that prayer! On Wednesday of this week, I accepted a Business Manager Position with an In-patient Rehabilitation Hospital! The facility will open in January, admitting our first (post-acute care) patients. I will start a month before the opening and be part of the preparation from the beginning! My excitement soars at the thought. I will be doing what I love doing and the very best thing - it is only 2.8 miles from my home! Oh, Gracious! No more 45 minute commute (both ways) to work!

There are many things that I would like to accomplish before I turn 50 in one year. And this job change is one of the top on my list.

Some other goals are to increase my running time. I participated in a triathlon this past year and have considered doing it again. The swimming was the most difficult to enjoy, but the running was the most difficult to complete. I love to cycle and can easily ride 15 miles with no trouble, but the other two aspects of being a triathlete are difficult for me. I want to get better.

Odd as it may sound, I want to learn how to cook new things. I love to cook. But I have gotten lazy as my schedule has filled up and my children are growing up. Lately, I have discovered that I experience great satisfaction when preparing a difficult recipe and serving a lovely, specially prepared meal. I want to try new recipes and find a few that I can rely on to be outstanding.

I hope to find ways that will help me age with grace. I will not deny the fact that I am a woman who is middle-age, and certainly do not wish to pretend to look 21 and instead of 49 (and just looking stupid). If you are a friend of mine and see me trying to dress like a teenager at my age - smack me! That just looks ridiculous!

May creativity be one of the results of my more "mature" status.
May love increase; that I might become more able to love unconditionally instead of becoming intolerant.
I hope to be able to laugh at myself more and more, finding humor in the things that some find hard to accept.
I pray that the mistakes I have made and any success I may have will bring wisdom, not regret or pride.
And I hope to experience gratitude as a way of life, acknowledging all the gifts that God has given me in which to enjoy life in all it's abundance!

Happy Birthday to me.

Gray hair is a crown of glory;
it is gained by living a godly life.
~Proverbs 16:31

Wordless Wednesday - Thien's birthday party

2010-11-18T19:03:00.010-06:00

The Guests

The food

The Gifts

Happy Birthday to Thien!

Multitude Monday One Thousand Gifts 51-60

2010-11-15T13:48:00.002-06:00

God has shown me how much He loves me this week by giving me these great gifts-

Diamond engagement rings - and the fact that my son's girlfriend is now wearing one!!!!
Fireplaces! So glad to have two beautiful ones in my home - even in Texas!
Safe friendships. I have a a couple of different groups of people that I meet with regularly - and they all serve as wonderful safe harbors of love, learning, and acceptance.
Knowing how to sew is a great thing! And having learned how to make rag quilts is another great thing! They make wonderful gifts that my 16 year old can make!
My husband. He is encouraging and even though he may give me a hard time about some things, he encourages me to do the things that are really important to me.
My long time friend, Lori. We have been friends for somewhere around 20 years and I can call her - even at the very last minute - and she will drop whatever she is doing. Plus, she is my very best shopping buddy!
I am grateful beyond words that my grown children still come home for dinner.
I have made a huge dent in my Christmas shopping already! I am so grateful!
Cowboy boots. I asked for a pair last year for my birthday and I love them. I really am shocked at myself, but I feel so cool when I wear them!
The courage to change what I can!

Celebrating and wondering

2010-11-12T15:12:00.003-06:00

Last night I celebrated my birthday in Alanon. It is the tradition of my home group to have the birthday celebrants tell their own story of their experience, strength, and hope. It is not something that I look forward to, not because I don't want to share my story, but because I find it difficult to talk for a long (that means more than a 3 or 4 minutes) time without interruption. (If you have never been to a 12 step meeting - you must know you should never be interrupted.) Since I have been celebrating with this group, I have elected to only tell "parts" of my story in the past and decided to get a little more detailed this time. So, I typed up my story to keep myself on track. It was still difficult but I think it went okay.

But something that I kept thinking about as the evening went on, and even after I left the meeting. I was celebrating...and others were also celebrating. But in attendance at our group last night, we had some there who were hurting. Some who were hurting because they have yet to discover the help and peace of the program. And I wondered, "Are our birthday celebrations fun for them? Do they bring hope?" I wish I could remember how I first felt.

And one, who is a veteran member of our group; she has been absent for a while, possibly attending another group, but I don't think that she has been consistently attending anywhere. It was her birthday also and she was not contacted beforehand. Our (the groups) mistake, yes, but she was in attendance and could have celebrated too but opted not to. It looked to me like she was hurt, even angry. I contacted her today and everything was "f.i.n.e." - the co-dependent pat- answer. She did say she probably will be moving to another group. My guess? She took the group's oversight personal. And my thoughts were, she probably needs to start working her program. I hope she finds another meeting, for her sanity's sake.

Anyway, today, I am rejoicing over the progress I have made. My life is much more serene and I take responsibility for my own stuff. I am still bothered when other people act crazy, but it is easier to not take responsibility for their stuff. And I try not to take things personally. (I was just reminded how crazy it is.)

A grateful member of Alanon

Wordless Wednesday (belated)

2010-11-10T14:18:00.000-06:00

On my way to work one morning, this was my view.

It reminded me of the way children draw the sunshine in pictures (myself included).

I always wondered why we made the rays look like lines when I never saw the sun's rays actually make that shape.

But there it is.

I sent the photo to my daughter the morning that I saw this and she was so excited.

She made it her telephone wallpaper.

It was a beautiful day!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-03T01:00:00.002-05:00

Home made Chile Rellenos!

This was an absolutely scrumptious meal!
And proving to Thien that Mexican food is fantastic.

More Mature than a High School Junior?

2010-11-02T20:18:00.007-05:00

The pit of my stomach churned with discomfort.
"You are just mean."
"No, you just ask annoying questions."
"When you say something to someone that makes them want to cry, I think that is mean."

This was the final exchange before making the decision to simply shut up.

She knew I was upset. So was she. And the "annoying" question? One regarding a comment that was on facebook.

I finally asked how she (at 16) became so mature. So mature that "things" that gnawed at me didn't seem to phase her. "Things" like being left out of plans where she was originally included. Just "things".

And I, again, was face to face with my maturity...or lack thereof.

The last two weeks in my Alanon meeting, we have discussed maturity. It all started when reading a pamphlet that included a "Checklist for Evaluating Our Maturity" Since "maturity" was not really the topic of that one particular meeting, we (the group) didn't stay there, but the facilitator for the month thought it would be beneficial to spend an entire (future) meeting evaluating maturity. So, the following week, our entire meeting was dedicated to evaluating maturity. Since that meeting, I have been given plenty of opportunity to do just that.

And I decided that in some areas, my 16 year old is more mature than I am! I said, IN SOME AREAS...but still, it is bewildering and humbling. Certainly, in the area of "feeling left out", she is way more mature than I am. So, I have had to revisit some of the circumstances and some of the reasons that I do not handle "feeling left out" well. (or with maturity)

Yuck.

I am grateful for God, who gives me opportunity to search myself and see where I can become willing to have Him change me and grow me. I am grateful for a program which gives me opportunity and tools to take inventory and give God the go ahead to remove my defects of character. To help me behave like a mature adult. And to admit to my 16 year old that her mom still has some growing up to do.

Multitude Monday One Thousand Gifts, 41-50

2010-10-31T21:00:00.007-05:00

World Series excitement! I have never lived in the city where the home team went to the World Series! It is fun to be had! No matter what! I am grateful for baseball this week - even the games that the Texas Rangers lost...it is still fun!

Chocolate. Milk Chocolate. Dark Chocolate. Caramel chocolate. You get the picture.

Girlfriends who share your birthday month! I am so lucky to have two of my best friends also celebrating their birthday's in November. We start celebrating WEEKS in advance!

My wonderful church - The Village Church. After some struggles in finding the right place to be, and being in a few places where I wish I had never been, I can finally say with joy that I love my church, I RESPECT my pastor, and trust the leadership; therefore agreeing to submit to their authority. What a blessing!

Eyeglasses. I cannot imagine my life without them.

Shoes. Different styles and colors of shoes! What a fun way to change an outfit and express how you feel. I recently purchased 3 different pair and they are all very different! I can't wait to put them on my feet.

Children. They just make me smile.

Spiritual Growth. Looking back and being able to see where God has worked in my life, actually changed me and grew me up in certain areas.

Vegetables. They are fantastic! A person can eat almost as much of these fine foods as one wants and not add "empty" calories to one's body! (this is good when you have been enjoying a lot of chocolate!)

Sweaters. And having weather cool enough to wear them!

Crazy Love

2010-10-29T12:53:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading the book, Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. The book was recommended to me by a friend. I had seen it before and heard it was good, so after the recommendation, picked it up and started to read. My hope in reading it was that I would fall more crazy in love with God and it did help, but I am still not there. When I see people who so quickly and readily give up everything and will spend inordinate amounts of money and time on God, I wonder what it is that gives them that crazy “in love” attitude toward God. Francis Chan likens the behavior to that of a couple, in love, and especially in that stage where you would do anything to spend time together; drive for miles for a short visit, spend amazing amounts of money to make the other one happy…that kind of love. I have a feeling that if I developed that kind of love toward God, my love for my family, friends, and fellow human beings might be deeper and more satisfying. I can see where that would happen, but I think I need to read the book again!

Go here to find out more about the book Crazy Love.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-27T19:55:00.003-05:00

Walked outside one afternoon after work and saw this...
Awesome!

Spooked!

Multitude Monday, One Thousand Gifts, 31-40

2010-10-25T09:56:00.004-05:00

Spontaneous conversations - the one's that you wait for but don't know when they will happen. But when they do, it is exactly the right time.

Golf. And that I can beat my husband (sometimes) if I really try. (at least a hole or two)

Tornado sirens. They warn for protection and my kids actually obey them, even when we are not home.

Autumn. The changing color of the leaves that can provide such peaceful entertainment.

Fireplaces. A fire, safely contained, also providing peaceful entertainment and even more; comfort, warmth, and just plain ole feeling cozy.

Chocolate malts. They make any day a good day.

Photographs. What a gift - to be able to record memories by snapping a picture and looking at it later!

Mobile phones. I am so grateful that these have been invented because my kids can reach me when tornado sirens sound, even if I am miles and miles away.

Music. If you love music like I do, an explanation is not necessary.

Comfort food. The way soup makes me feel warm on a cool evening, mashed potatoes and gravy make me feel loved, and pork chops and apples feel like a celebration.

God whispers He loves me in all these things.

Feeling very loved~

Marriage can be restful

2010-10-24T21:02:00.004-05:00

Why am I sitting here at this silly computer instead of going to bed? haha! I had to upload and look at photographs that my husband and I took while we were on our weekend get-away on Talimena Drive in Oklahoma and Arkansas. I won't post them now, but I am sure some of them will show up eventually. We did have a fantastic time, which is good. Actually, it is amazing since we were not having a great week before we left. After 30 years of being together, you learn to just move on some times. This was one of those times. We said what needed to be said, and then got on with the business of being married. No coincidence, I am sure that God had already worked it out that we would have this weekend set aside to spend time together. I guess He, being All-knowing, knew a head of time that this would be a much needed break. Hubby surprised me with a golf game on Friday - something that we have tried to get away and do for a very, very long time. Then we went to a place we used to go years and years ago, in the early days of our relationship, to look at the leaves changing color. We stayed at a lodge in a state park, which was lovely, and we rested.
It was exactly what we needed.
Marriage is sometimes a lot of work and after you work real hard, you just have to rest. I think it's best when you can rest together.

(okay...just one photo!)

Wordless Wednesday (through the eyes of a band mom)

2010-10-20T20:58:00.012-05:00

I know Wednesday is supposed to be "wordless" per my title...
apologies for the many photos.
This is the behind the scenes view of a band competition, through the eyes of a (chaperone) band mom. My daughter (and myself) spend a lot of time at this time of year doing exactly what is pictured below.
Enjoy.

A Proud Mom~

Multitude Monday, One Thousand Gifts, 21-30

2010-10-18T10:29:00.003-05:00

21. Time with my precious 5 year old niece!

22. My children's grandparents (my great dad) - who will travel miles to see a football game and a band competition.

23. Marching Band performances that are so outstanding that they make me cry - even the one's that my daughter is not marching in.

24. Dance - the beauty of bodies moving in motion to music and my ability to appreciate watching.

25. Women friends! The group of women who come to my home every other week with the desire to deepen their relationship(s) with God and deepen our relationships with one another.

26. Alanon. This 12 step program has changed almost every way that I live my life (second to my relationship with God)

27. The pictures that hang on my refridgerator, colored with markers with remarkable beauty by my sweet, talented niece.

28. A sister, who I love enough to be honest with and know that love will get us through anything.

29. Tears. What a wonderful way of expressing and releasing emotion that has nowhere to go otherwise.

30. Prayer. And a God who hears and answers!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-13T21:05:00.003-05:00

Multitude Monday, One Thousand Gifts, 11-20

2010-10-12T12:04:00.003-05:00

I know that it is Tuesday. But yesterday, which was Monday, I was enjoying a day at the Texas State Fair with my beautiful daughter. During the day, God gifted me many times, which will be a few of my one thousand gifts.

11. My 16 and a half year old daughter will spend the day with her momma at the State Fair – no friends, just mother and daughter.

12. That my aging body is still able to ride rides that spin, twirl and go real fast.

13. The wind in my hair as I hang upside down briefly, while looking at a crowd of observers on the ground below.

14. Hearing my daughter laugh beside me as we fly through the air, in circles.

15. Fletchers Corn Dogs

16. Frozen Lemonade

17. Clip on sunglasses

18. Cell phones, so we didn’t loose each other while I was in line for tickets and she was in ride for a line.

19. Having the opportunity to be way up high, not feel sick, and see things from a different point of view. (wow…how it must look from God’s perspective!)

20. Bubble baths – which my daughter and I both took when we returned home.

Enjoy!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-05T21:50:00.004-05:00

First Monday Trade Days
Canton, TX

Now, that's fun (and funny) stuff!

Multitude Monday One Thousand Gifts 1-10

2010-10-04T14:44:00.007-05:00

Many years ago, possibly 10 years ago or so, I was challenged by reading an article in an Oprah Winfrey magazine. The article was about a particular type of journal, one that she called something like, "Worth Remembering".

Keeping a journal has always been something that I enjoyed, starting way back when I was a young child and was given my first diary. It was one of those small, colorful journals with a flap that included a little lock and small key. As a child, I went through quite a few diaries but did not continue into adulthood. After many years of thoughts and memories escaping unrecorded, I began to journal again around 1990. I have not stopped since. The journals began as prayer journals, and although I keep writing in those daily, I do not hang on to them as records since they are my personal struggles; the conversations I prefer to keep between myself and God.

But Oprah’s journal idea grabbed me and I decided to practice it as well. I am not sure how much of Oprah’s journal suggestions I actually took, but in my own “Worth Remembering” journal, I decided to only write of things I wanted to remember…good things. Even if a negative circumstance begged to be recorded, the outcome of my journal entry had to have a positive note. Over the years, I have made regular entries of people, events, and even very small things that I am grateful for.

Since I began keeping an on-line journal – also known as a blog, I have had the pleasure to read blogs written by others. One of the one’s that I frequently visit regularly is this one: a holy experience and on this blog there is a regular “feature” or meme named Multitude Monday. After many months of enjoying the gifts of other bloggers, I am joining the Gratitude Community and will begin posting my list of 1000 gifts.

I look forward to noticing and sharing all of the wonderful ways that God whispers “I love you” in my life.

The beginning of my gifts, not surprising, but the absolutes that I must start with and will be repeated over and over, no doubt....

My wonderful husband, who loves me even when I don’t deserve it.

Three absolutely beautiful children.

A mother who I adore.

A father who is always has a positive word to say, in every situation.

A sister who does her very best to be the very best sister she can.

A niece, a sweet, lovable, niece, who gives me the opportunity to love unconditionally – again.

A home, that always welcomes me with it’s safety and comfort.

The beautiful girlfriend of my oldest son, who challenges me to cook as well as she does.

The beautiful girlfriend of my other son, whose gentleness is perfect.

My daughter’s ever increasing good taste in friends (especially of the boy kind) – her pickiness is a blessing.

So much to be grateful for! I am looking forward to my continued counting of gifts!

Friday Fill-Ins

2010-10-01T13:33:00.006-05:00

It's here! It's here! Hip, hip, hooray for Friday!
To celebrate, I think I will post a Friday Fill-In.

1. My back is freckled from too much time in the sun.

2. There was a time, in the past, that I would have considered myself to be a little wild.

3. Leaves are falling all around; not really yet here in Texas...but soon!

4. I sometimes think my husband is deaf; maybe it is simply forgetfulness.

5. Healing is wonderful!

6. Work, High School football, and parenting is what I have been up to lately.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I am looking forward to the big rivalry High School football game, tomorrow my plans include shopping at one of the biggest outdoor flea markets in Canton, TX with some of my very best friends, then going to a band parent event where we will picnic and the parents will march in their student's place, and Sunday I want to attend worship services at The Village Church, plant some fall flowers, then host a fantastic group of women for small group. (does small equal 20?)

Happy Weekend!!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-29T00:01:00.002-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-29T00:01:00.000-05:00

Keep It Simple

2010-09-22T20:54:00.003-05:00

Keep it Simple
To do just that
is not quite so
well ... simple

Why do I always
seem to pick the
hardest way
to ... live

Smooth sailing
a foreign concept
occasionally
not ... always

Let go and let God
much better choice
He really knows
what's .... best

Challenge for today?
I will select 3 or 4 things that I do that make my life more difficult than it needs to be and find ways to trust God and simplify.

I finally get it

2010-09-21T21:08:00.003-05:00

It was almost 24 years ago that I made the decision to give my life and my will over to Jesus Christ.
At the time, I really had no idea what it meant, but what I did know was that I was not doing a good job of living my life running it all on my own. I knew I needed help and I had (already by 27) looked for a lot of different people and ways of obtaining that help, none of whom or which had worked. I was still a mess.
On the outside, things didn't look too messy. I was married to a great guy and had just given birth to our second, beautiful, and perfect son. We had family that we loved, friends to hang out with, a home, two cars, and one good job.
As a new follower of Christ, when I heard things like, "crucified with Christ", "died with Christ", and the like, I was so confused. For many years I pretended to understand what it meant. And in some ways, I got it - sort of.
But this past summer, I REALLY got it.
And it is amazing.
That person...the one who was a mess, she really died when I decided to give my life to God. My life is the life of Christ; Him living through me.
Now, I can still choose to act the same way that messy girl acted, to think the way the messy girl though, and to believe the way the messy girl believed. But, that is totally up to me. The power of that messy thinking is gone and I have the power of the Holy Spirit, if I choose to let Him lead me.
It sounds so simple. And so weird. But I am so glad that I got it!
A couple of weeks ago, I heard someone say, "My mess became my message." I totally understood!

Since we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him. Romans 6:8

Weak vs Strong - which one are you?

2010-09-15T15:38:00.002-05:00

Saw this on a new friend's facebook page today and loved it!

"Strong people make as many mistakes as weak people. Difference is that strong people admit their mistakes, laugh at them, learn from them. That is how they become strong."

-Richard Needham, British Politician
(thanks, Jan)

Packing and Preparing!

2010-09-08T18:16:00.003-05:00

Need to pack

Then why am I sitting here on the computer reading blogs? And now typing a post...for no real reason?

I need to pack!

This upcoming weekend is one of my favorite weekends - ever! It is the annual Heart to Heart retreat in the Ozarks of Missouri! In the past, I have traveled to Tulsa via airplane and then by car with my mom. I will miss doing that this year, but I am taking 3 very special friends with me this year! I cannot even imagine the fun we will have on the road trip there and back! We range in age from early 20's to 50's, we know each other well, and care about each other bunches, which makes the weekend even more inviting! Then, when we get there, we will be with crowds of other women, all from different walks of life - but with one common bond - understanding, peace and love of the 12 step program and serenity.

Already, in my mind, I can hear the laughter. I can smell the musky dorm rooms where we will sleep, and the aroma of the food coming from the mess hall (and it is GOOD food) is already filling my tummy with desire. When I check in, I will receive my "word" - the word that I will ponder as a characteristic of myself, that I will either accept or grow into while there. And the excitement I feel for my friends and wondering what their "word" will be as well. There will be time for celebration, seeing old friends, some time for reflection, time for grieving and letting go, and time for some plain old fun!

I will be stretched, I will grow, and I will leave grateful! Grateful that I have a God who loves me unconditionally, who has my best in mind and will always protect and care for me, and grateful for friends who I can share life with - real life!

Oh, how I love Heart to Heart! My heart explodes at the anticipation...

Okay, I NEED TO PACK!!!!!!!!!!

I love today

2010-09-01T19:59:00.008-05:00

Today is the first day of September....wow!

Now, I love summer - in fact, I love summer best of all the seasons. I don't know why for sure, but I think it has hung on since my childhood. Summer still represents sleeping in, vacations, weeks with Grandma and Grandpa, homemade ice-cream, and days spent at the swimming pool. Most of those things are not regular parts of my summer schedule now that I am approaching 50. (well, I have a bit to go...but it's coming) I have a job where I leave my house before 7:00 a.m. every morning. That is NOT sleeping in! And my summer vacation? Well, let's just gratefully say it has been postponed to December due to a little airplane in a pond mistake.
So, even though my summer does not look like it did when it became my favorite season, and even though I thoroughly love summer, I am very, very ready for fall. And flipping the calendar today to the month of September, well, it just colors my world orange and gold! And I know that Spring is supposed to be the season of new beginnings, but something about September conjures up the melancholy of a new school year, new clothes, new shoes, new friends, and a new start.

This September 1st is holding true to how I feel about September. I sit in my home office this evening, and it is quiet. A thunderstorm rolled through during my drive home and during the dinner hour. The thunder was loud and constant and the rain was heavy and quickly deep on the ground. And then it stopped. My daughter and I ran outside when the sun popped out (right before it was to set) to view a beautiful rainbow. The air sparkled with the cleansing that the drenching rain had provided. It was crisp, ever so slightly cool and the water ran down the street, taking with it the dust from many hot, dry days. We stand side by side in our front yard, staring at the sky, in silence. I remind her of God's promise and she reminds me she has known His promise since almost the day she was born. Smiling, I tease her 16 year old smart alec-ness and tell her I am glad that she remembers. Sighing, I soak in as much as I can before the moment passes. And it will. In a blink of an eye, she went from 6 to 16. It wasn't that long ago that I was 6 ... and then 16 ... was it??? Oh yes, I must soak it all in, the rainbow, the glistening leaves on the trees, the rush of the rainwater in the street, and the teasing look in my daughter's eyes when she reminds me of how many times I have told her of God's love.

September is here. Wow!

Family Update and Friday Fill-In

2010-08-26T21:41:00.006-05:00

Mercy! An entire week has flown by! I had a fantastic time at the Women of Faith conference. As I hoped, my mind was renewed, my spirit refreshed, and friendships deepened. The biggest surprise for me was Marcus Buckingham! What a fantastic speaker with a fantastic message.
He was not familiar to me when I looked at the speakers when I bought my ticket, so I looked him up by googling him. (love technology!) I was a little curious after reading about him, still not quite sure why he was invited to Women of Faith. What a delight! Check him out here. I could probably write an entire post about what I learned from what he said. And maybe I will. :)

In the meantime, my daughter started school as a Junior in High School! My computer caught a virus and my husband doctored it back to health. We had 107 degree high one day, and 89 degree high the next. I am in my second week back to cycling after surgery and then an injured husband. I cooked dinner every day except one and on that day we went out to dinner with our best friends to Fuzzy's Taco Shop. I think they (the Taco shop, not the friends) are only in the great state of Texas, but they are moving to other areas soon. You should check them out if you ever have the chance. Other family news, our son, Aaron started his internship with the U.S. Marshal's department. I can't say much about that, since it is "top secret". ha ha! But, he is working for them and he started his final semester at University North Texas this week too! In December - he will graduate with a degree in Criminal Justice. Adam and Thien are settling nicely into their Texas routine and life is just good!

For fun...another Friday Fill-In!

1. You do your thing; I do mine and sometimes it might actually be the same thing.

2. Mexico is what's been on my mind on and off all day. (We re-booked the cruise we missed!)

3. Remember when ...that is what we were talking about with our best friends when we went out to dinner the other night. We have been friends for 20 years - we start a lot of our conversations with "Remember when...".

4. God, family, and fun are three of my favorite obsessions :-)

5. During the last year I have had a lot of change!

6. Thinking of going on a cruise puts a smile on my face. (Didn't we have this one last week?)

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to the first football game - even though it is a scrimmage, tomorrow my plans include cycling, maybe a little swimming, shopping, and seeing my kids (the ones who don't live at home anymore) and Sunday, I want to worship at the Village Church, finish the last class of the Christian Counseling Class I am taking, and spend time with my Home Group friends!

Friday Fill-In

2010-08-19T22:20:00.004-05:00

Well, it has been a while, but here is a Friday Fill-In!

1. Laughter really is the best medicine - for most things!

2. "Would you re-send..." are the three words that started off the last email I sent.

3. What I'm most looking forward to today is WOMEN OF FAITH and hanging out with some fantastic friends.

4. Being with my family puts a smile on my face.

5. Where in the world do people come up with these things?

6. I am thinking that this weekend will be just what I needed!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Women of faith and time with some of my favorite friends, tomorrow my plans include the same thing and Sunday, I want to worship at The Village Church, and hang out with my family after a weekend full of fun, faith, encouragement, and growing!

I hope your weekend is great too!

Click here for more Friday Fill-Ins

Hot - in more ways than one

2010-08-16T11:19:00.006-05:00

I have to say it,

I will be glad when this summer is over.

For one thing, it is insanely hot in Texas this year.

Yesterday was the 16th day of temperatures over 100 degrees in Dallas.

We are not approaching the record of 42 straight days from the 1980 heat wave yet, but, ?

It’s enough to kill even the most heat hardy plants.

And my having a positive attitude is struggling to stay alive too.

Summer 2010 will not be forgotten.

Major events will mark this season; some good memories, and some not so good. But throughout this summer, the biggest thing that I will remember is what I have learned through it all.

I cannot control anything or anyone except myself.

Now, this is not really a new concept for me, in fact, I have been aware of this for many years. But this summer’s events took me to a deeper understanding; an understanding that grasped me by the shoulders and shook me until I cried, “Uncle!” (which means: To indicate a willingness to give up a fight or surrender)

Actually, the name I cried was “Father”, as in my heavenly Father. And He answered me.

I cried aloud to the Lord and He answered me from His holy hill. Psalm 3:4

Some of His answers have been difficult one’s to hear. They have required pain and brokenness. But the lessons have been big; so big in fact; they rally in competition with my original surrender to Christ 23 years ago. There is new meaning to what it means to be “in Christ”, I have discovered that I really do have the gift of mercy, (for years I thought I didn't) and I have finally truly forgiven some people who hurt me years ago.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I nowlive in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galations 2:20

So, I am ready to see a new season. The heat is exhausting, but so is the journey that I have been on. I am ready for this summer to be over.

...be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Eph 4:23-34

Rejoicing!!!

2010-08-04T15:50:00.002-05:00

Today is finally here! Our family has been waiting for this day for weeks, months…really, years!

When our family moved from Virginia to the state of Texas in July 2005, we left Adam at Virginia Tech. He was only half way through his engineering degree and after much thought and discussion, it was decided that he would be best off remaining there and completing his degree. (As opposed to transferring to another university) It was a decision that tore chunks out of my momma’s heart. It was difficult when my husband and I walked down the hallway of his freshman dormitory room and left him 6 hours away, but to move half of a country away…leaving him there…??? It was almost too much to bear.

We almost changed our mind after that first Christmas (2005). School was intense for him, his Grandpa Ron passed away that fall, and his Grandma was recovering from some serious injuries. He really wanted to come home. We wanted him to come home. But, again, after much thought and discussion, it was decided that he would go back after Christmas break and finish his degree.

Graduation finally came in December 2007 and we all hoped and prayed that he would find a job in Texas. But that was proving to be a challenge since the recruiters that were available to him were filling positions on the East Coast. So, he found a job with a fantastic company – in Fairfax, Virginia. Oh well. A good job is a good thing, even in Virginia.

And It is a good job and he loves it. So we flew back and forth as often as time and money would allow. But there was a girlfriend involved now too, who was still in school, with a family who lived in Virginia.

So, we waited, and prayed – hoping that somehow he (and she) would make Texas their home.

She decided that Texas would be a great place for her to obtain her Master’s degree! (answered prayer) She moved here in April to establish state residency.

And Adam began looking for a job. He looked. And interviewed. And even had an opportunity to be hired. But he loves his current position. One morning, he approached his boss and asked if he could move to Texas. By the afternoon, he had an approval to work remotely – from Texas!

Today, he arrived! An apartment is waiting for him just 15 minutes from our family home.

HOORAY!

It is the first time since my husband and I walked down the hall of that freshman dormitory that our entire family will be within an hours drive of one another. And that was August, year 2000!

What a happy day!

Feeling Blessed!

July 4th Foto Fun

2010-07-25T22:11:00.007-05:00

July 4th was a blast!
We spent the day with our family and best friends.

One of the best ways to spend the day in Texas...in July...
IN THE POOL!

I love my friend, Tricia, and her little guy!

Fred and his best friend.

Me and my best friends!

We were having too much fun!

The food was delicious!

Waiting for the fireworks display!

Me and my beautiful daughter!

My oldest and dearest friend.
Look at the silly kids behind us! LOL!

I love, love, love these ladies!

I love this young lady more than anything!
What a fantastic Fourth!

Foto Fun - The Sunshine Project

2010-07-25T21:42:00.002-05:00

My son's girlfriend has been living with us since April. It has been fantastic to have her here, for many reasons.
This reason, though, I could capture in photograph.
She loves to paint. She paints pictures - as in real pictures. She also paints the most fabulous flowers on my fingernail and toenails. She even likes to paint walls. Yes! She likes to paint walls...can you believe that?!?
We have a game room upstairs. It is sort of the "hub" of the upstairs.
It also is one room that I have done nothing with since we moved here 5 years ago.
In fact, when we forgot to take "before" pictures, I looked to see if I had a photo of this room from when I took pictures of the house when we moved here - nope.
I guess I didn't like the room much. Not that it's a bad room; in fact, it is a great place.
It just wasn't very pretty.
Thien (my son's girlfriend) didn't like the room much either but since we spend quite a bit of time in there, it became her desire to paint it.
She named it "The Sunshine Project"
The reason for that title?
The room was paper sack brown but has wonderful windows and light.
So, a color was selected and off we went.
Due to the fact that I had surgery 6 days prior, I only painted what I could reach; which was quite a bit. However, I did rest when necessary and took a few photos along the way.

This is the color contrast. Since we forgot to take "before" pictures, we decided we would
at least capture a memory of the color of the room before the re-do.

Thien had to pour all the paint since I could not lift the paint can.

Rebecca even joined in the fun. Thankfully!

I never got on the tall ladder, but I did use this one to paint as high as possible.
Thien did the entire ceiling while I painted from the floorboard to around 7 feet high.
The room has a cathedral ceiling, so it was quite a bit of reaching.

And here is what it looks like - finished.

We still have blank walls...waiting for the perfect accessories to be located.
The room housed most of our beach artifacts (from our years living on the East Coast).
Although I don't think I will use much of what we accumulated there, the room still carries a beachy feel. So....
A new, big screen television has been purchased and is on the way.
We are very excited about that!
After all, it is a game room!
Since many games in our home are electronic, it only makes sense! The first Wii game we played on the small T.V. that is in there now was enough for us to move the Wii downstairs.
We are looking forward to spending more time upstairs, in the Sunshine Room!
This was a very fun project!
Thanks, Thien and Rebecca!
I love it!

My Music, My Prayer

2010-07-24T08:27:00.004-05:00

Amy Grant came to a Flower Mound restaurant prior to the release of her most recent CD titled Somewhere Down the Road. Our local (Christian) radio station featured her live one morning and she played this song on the air, live. It touched my heart.

I have looked forward to hearing it and singing along every time it comes on the radio or my iPod. Various situations and people enter my mind as I sing along. But this last week, it has become my prayer. The song has ministered to me and given me hope, joy, and reminded me - strongly - of God's presence. He was with my hubby when his airplane crashed. He was with me when I received that unnerving phone call and He is very here while we recover...physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.

Listen and praise the God who is always present, even when we are crying out in fear or pain.

Seriously! I can't believe I said that...but it worked!

2010-07-20T20:29:00.005-05:00

LOL!

Really? I did not know when I added the little snippet below on my blog last week that I would have to give serious thought to what it meant the very next day.

And laughing out loud still helps, even when it is not the answer.

Tuesday night, around 11:30 p.m., I received one of those dreaded, middle of the night phone calls. A stranger called to tell me that a man who claimed to be my husband had knocked on his door asking for help. My heart froze in my throat. Making a long story very short, my husband and his best friend of 20 years had made a crash landing in our small airplane. Sadly, the airplane was in a pond and my husband, disoriented, had been walking in a field for several hours. All the while, I was sleeping. A flurry of activity occurred as his friend had been looking for my hubby for hours, the police had been called and it was decided that my husband needed to go to the hospital for some stitches. We all met at a local Emergency Department around 1:00 a.m., and after a CAT Scan, it was determined that he had not only sustained some serious head lacerations, but also a broken neck! He was put in an ambulance and transported to a trauma hospital in Ft. Worth.

He has been released with no surgery, no paralysis, and the sutures have already been removed from his scalp (all 32 of them!). Grateful is not a word that is strong enough to describe how happy I am that he (and his friend) are alive. (His friend was treated and released from the hospital the night it occurred.)

Sorrow and disappointment threaten to overwhelm me at times. But, I also have been laughing...yes, even sometimes out loud. I ponder my ability to laugh at some of the things that have happened in the last week, and they really are not funny. But humor is still there, even in the midst of the fear, the concern, and the tragedy of what happened. And I am grateful that I have the ability to laugh, and to cry, and that I know that no matter what, God will take care of my dear husband, me, our children, and all the consequences that we will work through in the days and weeks to come.

So...some of the things that I have laughed at this week...

I brought a t-shirt to the hospital for him to wear home...and he can't pull it over his head. oops!
(He came home in his hospital gown)

I spilled green jello in between his collar / neck brace and his chin. It was almost impossible to remove!

Sleeping with him is like sleeping with Frankenstein! He has to sleep flat on his back and had stitches all over his head. Eery!

And I think after we get all the doctor bills paid off, I am going to have to have botox to get rid of all the worry wrinkles...

...or maybe they are laugh lines!

Either way....

he owes me.

LOL

2010-07-12T14:53:00.003-05:00

is not the answer to everything.

But most things.

Amazing Attention

2010-07-10T20:55:00.005-05:00

Recently, I had surgery. Not a huge deal...just a little gallbladder problem. I am feeling much, much better, but still recovering. During the time I was required to stay home and recuperate, I received a basket of flowers from my co-workers. I don't think they had any idea how this lovely gift would entertain me, but I spent hours gazing at the beauty of the blooms that brightened the coffee table in my family room. No television show or book held my attention as long as these beauties.

I was too tired to speak to anyone for any length of time. Reading tired me; plus the drugs I was taking didn't really allow for that amount of concentration and I just have to say it, I despise television - even when I am ill.

So, I would sit and stare. Then I would see something and move just a little closer.

And even closer, realizing how different things looked when I examined closely.

The detail, the texture. Never mind the fragrance - that was there too, but what really captivated me was the intense detail of each flower, each petal.

And I wondered, does God look at me this closely? Certainly He does. He knows everything about me and He still loves me.

There have been times I have thought of myself or others as "speck inspectors"...
looking at all the little things in others and pointing out any tiny fault or character flaw. (even if only in my head)

Do we look that closely when we are examining the positive qualities of others? Do I know my husband's and childrens' loveliness as well as I know their quirks?

If I don't, I plan to now. Because I realized while I was investigating every inch of these flowers that the beauty far outweighed the pollen that threatened my nose or the petals that dropped onto the table.
Just like my family and friends. The beauty far outweighs the warts.

Here's to taking time to ponder the loveliness of life!

Foto Fun Birthday Bash

2010-06-28T19:58:00.008-05:00

June is fun at our house when we can all get together.
It is a birthday filled month!
My mom.
Our oldest son, Adam.
Our second son, Aaron.
June 11, June 11, and June 12.
Fun stuff!
Here is how we celebrated this year when Adam flew in from Washington D.C., my mom drove down from Tulsa, and Aaron came for the weekend from Denton, where he lives and goes to school.

The beginning of the spread of food...

Grandma and Grandson - the 2 June 11th birthdays...

Aaron - June 12
Checking out the xap xap (Vietnamese salad made with beef jerky and green papaya)
It is SO good!

Not playing hard yet, just chillin'

Now, here is some serious play!

Or not so serious...

Feed the bellies.

Let's dry off a bit and relax

Mother and son
(I miss him much...can't wait for him to move here soon!)

Awww, it must be sweet. Look at that smile.

Not sure what to think about the way my boys relax.
:/

Random thoughts and Friday Fill Ins

2010-06-25T13:58:00.002-05:00

I can't figure it out.
Am I lacking time?
Lacking creativity?
Or is my life just simply so boring that I cannot think of anything to blog about?
Oh, so sad.

Dull has not been how I would describe my days as of late, but I don't have much to say about my recent laparoscopic cholesystectomy. My daughter has banned me from blogging about her since the biggest thing happening with her is her love life (that should remain private, by all means). My son, who currently lives in Washington D.C. does have a move date of August 6th! He will be moving to Texas! Hooray! Which also means his girlfriend will be moving out. That could be an entire post because I will miss her tremendously. My middle son, who firmly believes he has the curse of the middle child, does have a lot going on, but truthfully, it is fairly boring. He took a transfer with American Eagle Outfitters, who he has worked for since he was 18 years old (he is now 23) so that he could have full time hours for the summer. He made the switch and is working part time again. Hmm. A conversation ensues with his current boss upon her return from vacation, which I believe is today. I am sure that it will be straightened out soon enough. My dear husband ... work and airplane, work and airplane. Need I say more? I am thrilled that he was able to purchase the little bird of his dreams, but I am waiting (impatiently) for the "new" to wear off.

So, while I contemplate something to write about that has more depth, I will post a
Friday Fill-In!

1. On vacation, I like to relax more than sight see these days!

2. In July, I will be scuba diving in the ocean.

3. One of my favorite vacation spots is my home town, Tulsa!

4. The sky is so bright it is amazing when there is a full moon.

5. Up, up and away is where my husband goes to relax.

6. Bananas are really not something that I enjoy but I eat them anyway.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I am looking forward to going to dinner with a girlfriend, tomorrow my plans include seeing an old friend who will be in town from Atlanta, Georgia and doing a little shopping, and Sunday, I want to worship at The Village Church, rest a little, go to my counseling class, and a potluck dinner with my Home Group!

Have a great weekend!

Daddy

2010-06-20T20:54:00.007-05:00

Set aside this day to honor Fathers.
The man I married, a great father.
My intention was to surprise him with a new grill,
but instead, he got a card and a kiss
then had to prepare his own meal
do the laundry
and check on me while I slept
my nurse.
I am grateful.

I lay in the quiet of my room and think about DADS.
One man, biologically my father.
He passed from this life many years ago
but I never knew him.
He married my mom when they were teens
they "had" to. A boy was born and died before I came
into their lives.
He didn't know how to do "Daddy"
I think he tried, but I don't know
Memories are not there
Only what I have been told.
I am grateful.

Another man came along
before I was three
He married my mommy and he "married" me
I became his little girl.
He lifted me up so that I could touch the moon.
I hid behind his strong back when I was afraid
(of the gorillas on "I Love Lucy")
He made my breakfast early, waking me way before
I wanted to get up
on cold, winter, school days.
He grabbed me in bear hugs,
planting wet kisses on my forehead
and I was just walking by.
Only twice he spanked me...
once I was three, and then thirteen.
Both times, I took the Lord's name in vain,
the only wrong that brought swats from him.
He quietly encouraged, quietly experienced his own discouragement,
never saying
Not perfect, he or I
But Daddy.
I am grateful.

Happy Father's Day