Tuesday, January 17, 2012

When you ask God

He answers.

Just sayin'

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


Today, I finally downloaded the photographs that I took over Christmas. I love photos, but my camera broke just a week before Christmas and I was so sad. On Christmas morning, I was given a new camera - which I was thrilled with, but the photos sat, imprisoned on the card until today.
When I opened the new camera, I took the memory card out of the old one and simply placed it into the new one.
And this evening, when I saw the images that had been held captive for the past month, I saw this photo and fell in love. It was taken with my old camera, right before it broke and on a night that holds almost as much importance as Christmas itself. The below photo - was taken at the start of the annual tree trimming party. And in the photo, besides the untrimmed tree is our oldest son who loves this particular family event. We have held this night available until the very last days before Christmas when he was in college in Virginia and we were living in Texas - just so he could participate in the trimming of the tree. One time, many years ago, he said to me, "I think I like the night we decorate the tree more than Christmas because of the time we spend together as a family."

He is 27 now, almost a married man, and he, along with his fiance, still spend the night on Christmas Eve so that they can wake up at our home on Christmas morning and be here to see what Santa brought. We all open gifts in our pajamas until mid morning, just like we did when they were little bitty children. What a blessing to still have our family all together and how wonderful it is to know that the traditions that we hoped to create to make memories did just that.


Monday, January 9, 2012

Cold and Warm

It's January and it's cold outside. Tonight, the rain and wind knock at the walls and windows of my house teasing me as if they could invade the warm, safety of the inside. It's comforting and unsettling at the same time. The two reactions to the night sounds don't mix but I am oh so familiar with the feeling. Contradictory. Opposites. And I think about how many other situations produce similar moods and I find there are many. When I go to work every day, I am thankful for my job, the challenges it brings to my mind, the differences that I can make in peoples' lives, and I want to stay home and retire. Conflict. I give in and indulge in a food, that is high in calories but it tastes so delicious. I know that it will take days to counteract the damage that was done, but the pleasure of the moment wins out. And I am satisfied and dissatisfied. And what is it about watching my children grow up, make choices - both good and bad - and the odd way that I feel proud and sad at exactly the same time. Crying with a smile on my face.
So, I sit in the safe, silence of my home listening to the rain and wind whip around outside and I wonder how to feel.