Sunday, August 31, 2008

My Everything

My prayer this past summer has been that God would be my Everything. There is much in my life to be grateful for and He blesses me each and every day. But, there is a hole in me that can only be filled by Him. I try, sometimes, to fill that hole with other relationships, with activities, with things that leave me feeling empty and confused. We have been singing this song a lot in worship at my church so it has become special to me. My prayer and my song to my God.

Happy Labor Day

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping
God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting
God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything

You are everything
Jesus, Everything

Thursday, August 28, 2008

ABC's of the Word - Thursday - "F"

As Thursday approached, I have allowed my mind to ponder the letter "F", giving room for the Holy Spirit to bring to mind what God would want me to Focus on myself and share with my Friends and Family. All week, my thoughts remained on one word...FINALLY. So, I reflected on the word FINALLY as used in God's Word, I thought I would share the verses that Filled my mind this week.

Definition of Finally - the final point or moment; in the end. a final manner; conclusively or decisively. last; eventually; after considerable delay

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I have had many a season where this verse has meant much to me, but nothing like the season of the last few weeks. My mind obsesses over wrongs that I have been guilty of and wrongs that have been aimed toward me. I think on regrets, guilt, disappointment, and depression. But this verse brings me right back to where God wants me to be in my stinking thinking and my thoughts are once again a lovely Fragrance to Him. DECISIVELY!

Ephesians 6:10

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

The only strength I have is His. Need I say more? I am weak, but He is strong. AT LAST!


For More ABC's Of The Word, visit

Grey Like Snuffie

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

She's Growing Up

I have blinked.

And she is now a ninth grade girl, young woman.

My daughter, Rebecca, has started her first year of High School this week.

This year is already different than other years. The school supply list includes things that middle school (and elementary) did not. One of those items being that very expensive calculator...isn't there one around here somewhere from one of her older brother's high school days? School clothes shopping had included under garments being of equal importance as the outer garments. Purses and wallets....let's not talk about the trip that I made to the Coach Store. And two flutes! OK, so High School shopping is much more expensive.

So, I took a picture of Rebecca when I picked her up from her first day. I proudly sent the photo out to family and friends who might be interested. One of the comments was priceless, from Wendy: "Oh my gosh, she's beautiful!!! What happened to that little girl who let me brush her wet hair after her bath and loved her hamster??? Wow, I guess she is about the same age I was when you started working with the youth?? How crazy is that? Tell her I said I love her hair like that."

My sentiments exactly...what did happen to that little girl who wanted her hair brushed after her bath and loved her hamster? And yes, she is the same age as Wendy was when I first met her. It is crazy.

One day she was smiling at me from a car seat, then she was thrilled with those big, fat Crayola crayons that preschoolers use. She wore pajamas with feet in them and played with Barbie Dolls in the bath tub. She spent time drawing cities between our driveway and our neighbors' with sidewalk chalk and riding her tricycle back and forth. She wanted me to put her hair in pony tails and bows, and her favorite song was ME singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. McDonald's was her favorite restaurant and Daddy was the cutest guy she ever saw.

Today we are talking about formal wear for Homecoming, how to make time for Youth Group activities, homework, and band. I limit the number of times she can color her hair per year to twice. She ordered Tofu at Pei Wei for dinner, her choice. Daddy is looking kind of old these days, especially compared the cute guy in her Spanish class. Footed pajamas have turned into cute gowns and the only driving she is talking about is when she gets to drive herself and how many of her friends have permits already.

I must have blinked.

She is growing up.

Ninth Grade Rebecca

Rebecca and good friend, Lauren

Monday, August 25, 2008


Last year, right before my mom and I left to go on our cruise, she had a dream about spending all night lowering her eyebrows so that she would remain calm for a job interview. (she was also a man) My mom has the craziest dreams and she entertains me often by telling me about them. She shared this particular dream with me on our car trip to the port from which we set sail for a week in the Caribbean and it struck me so funny that I laughed about it the entire week. You can read her dream on her blog site Observations. Since then, we both never miss any opportunity to make a joke about an eyebrow lowering experience.

Well, I found out that my mom has never been real happy with her eyebrows and I realized that I haven't either. She and I made a trip to Ulta (cosmetics store) to look around and found ourselves having eyebrow make-overs. For most of my 46 years, I have left my eyebrows alone. They are quite small and never needed "cleaning up" until I hit my mid forties. I have had them waxed a few times, but never have been really pleased with any of the eyebrow looks that I have achieved.

If you read my mom's blog post on eyebrows, you discovered that she bought an entire kit for perfecting her eyebrows. It actually included a stencil which I found hilarious. I decided that just eyebrow make-up would be adequate for my eyebrow dilemma, however, when I got home, I envied her template as I found out how difficult it is to make a perfect eyebrow with a brush. (No, I am NOT going to draw them on like they did in the sixties!) I did a little internet research on eyebrows and found all kinds of articles...even TUTORIALS on You Tube on how to create the perfect eyebrows! Check this out!

Did you know that eyebrows are the frame to the face?

That is how important eyebrows are! I never knew! So, it has been my quest to create perfect, face framing eyebrows.

Here is what I came up with so far. Excuse the fact that my hair has not been "fixed" in these before and after photos! That is another blog post all together. I just got back from the salon!

Eyebrows al natural

Eyebrows with the make-up

Now, check out this tutorial! Perfect eyebrows! I think I will keep practicing.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

In Christ Alone

Another way that God is good...

I love this song and have loved it since the first day I heard it on the Newsboys Adoration CD several years ago. This past weekend it took on new meaning in my life. The song goes beyond the surface and touches the depths of who we are in Christ. It expresses who Christ is to me and who I am to Him. My theme song for this season....

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt of life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

I Am Living Proof

Having just returned from San Antonio, I am pumped up, excited, exhausted, full, sleepy, rededicated and blessed.

Beth Moore has been one of my favorite Bible Study teachers and authors for over ten years. (She is a fantastically gifted teacher and I always am pointed to God when listening to her speak) Being able to sit -live- under her instruction was one of my desires fulfilled and I am so glad to have been in San Antonio, at Living Proof, with one of the best friends I could ever ask dear friend, Susan, sitting beside me.

I had a specific prayer request for the weekend, as did Susan. We agreed to pray for each other and we will continue to pray for each other as God answered our prayers; but we both still need to take the time to meditate on what we heard. God's answers for me goes deep and will be a process, but He is good and He did provide answers that are immediate, life changing, and clear.

Having been living in a "pit" (as Beth affectionately calls it), I have been trying to find my way out for some time. Many times, I have been nearly to the top and I will either jump back in, fall back in, or get pushed back in. I come out for "visits", but have made my home in this pit as I have lived in anger, hurt, and the desire to get even for way too long. My prayer was for peace and healing.

God is so good. The minute the conference began, God's word rolled on the power point presentation. The room was dark. The music was playing. My heart began to pound when I saw the words of Psalm 16 spelled out for me to read. Yes, ME to read. Any of you who have seen my blog this summer, I selected Psalm 16, verse 11 as the verse that represented ME, this blog...which represents the journey of my heart. When I returned from Virginia and the pain of what happened in my friendship with Ruth was more than I thought I could bear, God gave me, yes ME, Psalm 16. It has been my prayer and my hope for the last two months...and there it was, staring me directly in my face and speaking directly to my heart. I knew God was answering my prayer.

In my time with Him this weekend, I am absolutely certain that I am an heir of God. I am a co-heir with Jesus Christ. He is my portion and I am His! I know I have received an inheritance from God, for he chose me in advance, and he makes everything (even this summer) work out according to his plan.

I know that God forgives all sin.

Psalm 16 says it all. It brings me full circle in my relationship with Him. I am starting over. I have rededicated my life, turning myself over to the care and will of God. I have no more enemies. I pray for reconciliation in the relationships that are broken. I will do everything that I can to bring peace to all my relationships and glory to God. I will expect miracles.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the LORD,
"You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you."

As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.

The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.

The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.

You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.


Thursday, August 21, 2008

He Gives Me Everything

One of my favorite books of the Bible is the book of James. It is so practical, so down to earth, and often times hits me square between my eyes.
This past week, I found myself reading in James, chapter 4. Many lessons were for me to be found in James 4 this week...
  1. What causes fights and quarrels among Christians? What has caused me to fight and quarrel?James says it is because we want something and we don't get it. I cannot have what I want. Affirmative. So, I work on my motives and my relationship with God.
  2. I am challenged to think of where my loyalty lies. Am I loyal to God? Do I really trust Him? Do I really believe that He will provide all I need and satisfy my every desire? Hmmm. Recently, I felt that was not true of God. If it were, than how could He have allowed my best friendship to fall apart? Why did He not intervene when things started to go south? Why? Wrong question to ask. What I do know out of James is God gives me more and more grace. I am not proud of my part in messing things up, humble in that I am willing to admit and apologize for what I have done. He gives me grace.Why do I worry so much about this, as if God is not faithful to His promise? One friend. One situation. Out of many, many friends, and many many situations. So much good in my life and I still choose to focus on the one bad.
Even in the midst of this loss, with the hole in my heart, the chaos I have experienced, I am reminded of all the joy that is mine already.

Last weekend, as I mourn the loss of ONE single friend, I spent time with my daughter and it was fun, not just mother daughter fun, but real girlfriend fun. We know each other. She is maturing. She can have adult like conversations - at times. I know that we are friends. What a beautiful blessing.

Then I went to Kim's and met her best friend, Christy. I thought it might be painful to see them, to know that they are committed to a 27 year friendship. It is what I wanted with Ruth. (see #1. I cannot have what I want) Instead of sadness, I felt joy and happiness for their success. I felt hope in knowing that God has given me so many friendships. And one of them is going on 20 years...why do I forget about her sometimes? I am sorry, God.

Saturday, I went with a friend from work to the Dave Matthews concert. We had a great time and our friendship went to the next level. We had fun laughing, singing, and dancing, but we also had fun sharing and getting to know one another better. (This night is still a post all it's own, Ya'll. I can't figure out how to tell the story yet, but it was a night to remember!)

Sunday, my new friend, Tricia, came over to swim and hang out with her little boy, Colin. Rebecca babysits Colin, and they have a cute friendship. Both Tricia and I were worn out from and the late night on Saturday (she was at a late night birthday party), so we sat make-up-less and tired poolside. We ate sandwiches and soaked up the sun. It was relaxing and I realized while we were sitting there what a lovely gift God had given me in our new friendship. I just witnessed her decision to walk with God and I will feel forever bonded to her.

Sunday night, I picked up Lori, who has been my constant friend and confidante for almost twenty years and drug her off to a Pampered Chef party in Denton, TX. I realized that she is always there for me, will always be there for me and God has given me a great best friend in her. Off we went to see my friend, Theresa and go to a Pampered Chef party that ended up being held in a Mexican restaurant. Long story, there, Folks, but funny as can be. No matter what I do with Theresa, we laugh the time away. No exception this time.

And if that weekend was not enough, I am leaving tomorrow to San Antonio. My friend, Susan, lives there. We have a fun weekend planned. We are going to hear Beth Moore speak...YEAH! (that will be a blog story all on it's own too!) and them off to do some shopping for Mexican Pottery at Marketsquare. Our Saturday night entertainment is going to the America concert. My favorite song in Junior High was "Sister Golden Hair" and I hope, hope, hope they play it!

So...who am I to worry that I am not worthy of great friends? Who am I to worry over the loss of one friend? I am sad, yes. I miss her, yes. I wish that things were different, yes. I would welcome reconciliation, yes.

But, James 4 reminds me, "Come near to God and He will come near to you...Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
I think I am riding on His shoulders today! He has surrounded me with best friends in the midst of losing one...just one.
I am lifted up!

Ready to ride on the wings of my God, having the time of my life! He has given me great friends!

I am off to San Antonio now. Yippee! I am praying that God will continue the work He started when I read Beth's Book, Get Out of The Pit, which prompted the post Genuine Pearls.

ABC's Of The Word

This weeks verse is focused on the letter "E" . The verse that came to mind with the focus on the letter E is out of a book that begins with the letter E as well. It is a verse that is comforting and reminds me of God's absolute sovereignty.
There is a time for Everything, and a season for Every activity under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

I like this verse. There is a time for all things. There is a season for all things. Many things are for a season. Time. Didn't I talk about time yesterday...and the day before that? A time for everything. A time for joy. A time for death. A time for friendship. A time for being alone. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to sing and a time to pray.

For more ABC's of the word, visit Grey Like Snuffie

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

In Memory

Leroi Moore (September 7, 1961 - August 19, 2008)
The musician responsible for my beginning interest in Dave Matthews Band died yesterday, August 19th.
Due to my son's love of playing the saxophone, this very talented man is who first drew my attention to the band. Over the years, Dave Matthew Band has become my favorite band.
Leroi Moore will be missed by many, many fans...myself included.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


The week before last, I posted a prayer request for my father in law and our family as we were faced with deciding whether or not to continue cancer treatments.

At the time, his mental state was such that we did not think he could make that decision himself.
God is good though and He gave us an answer that brings peace.

My dear father in law is still suffering from bouts of mental disorientation. We understand this is part of the process when one is near death. However, he has had clarity enough to be very certain about his decision to discontinue treatment. His cancer is rapidly spreading, his immunities are very weak.

Fred went to spend the weekend with his father this past weekend. It was a time of laughter and tears. It was a time of knowing that there will not be very much left. Time.

Their relationship has had periods of distance, misunderstanding, and even anger and hurt. There were times in our marriage that I wondered if healing would ever occur. But, what I see is love and forgiveness. I am witness to making the choice of moving on, restoration in relationships, and not allowing mistakes to keep people apart. What a lesson. I wish it didn't have to come along at the end of life. But the change of heart happened. It happened in time. But, sadly, time has been wasted.

Please pray that his life will be as full as possible in the next days or weeks. Pray for his comfort.

Pray that no more time will be wasted. Not in his life. Not in my husband's life, not in my life and not in yours.

Lives are precious. Relationships are a priority. Love and forgiveness are from God. Time.

...for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart. Ecc 7:2b

Who We Are, Who I Am

For my birthday last year, my best friend who recently ended our friendship, sent me a CD. It is the new Lifehouse CD, Who We Are and she bought it because we both enjoy the band. We had gone to hear them in concert one spring where we stood in the pouring rain, under a blanket, throughout most of the concert. It was hilariously fun and something that I know I will never forget.

In February, when I was so angry with her, I threw the CD out of my car in a catharsis because it was such a gift of love and I was in such pain, I couldn't bear to hear it. I did go back and retrieve it and then I put it away for a while.

Recently though, I started listening to it again. Knowing the song that is playing often on the radio, Whatever It Takes, I suspected that I might be opening myself up to painful feelings, but I also know I must walk through them. Just that song itself tells the story of what I would say to her if she would give me the chance. The chorus says it all:

I'll do whatever it takes
to turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together
Whatever it takes....

But as I've listened to this CD in it's entirety, really listening to the words, the music, and allowing it to speak to my soul, there is another song that expresses my heart. It is called Broken and the lyrics are:

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hanging on another day just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm holdin' on
I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

Monday, August 18, 2008

Peace of Mind

The past few weeks, I have had a difficult time staying asleep through the entire night. The chaos of recent events have caused my mind to go into overload with thoughts of every variety. A friend of mine has been helping me overcome this. He is the Lord. My favorite way to fall back to sleep is to recite to Him who He is and what He does.

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

Psalm 23

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Wow - Amazing

It is after 2:00 in the morning. This is the second night in a row that I have stayed up this late. I thought last night was amazing...and it was! Tonight has to have been one of the most amazing and interesting nights that I have ever experienced. The Dave Matthews concert was fantastic, as expected. Truly they might be the most talented band that I have ever heard. But SO, SO much more than a concert tonight. It was a night of happenings that could have only been orchestrated by God. I will write it all out later, if I can even capture the night in writing. All I can say right now is that I believe in angels.
What a night.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

I Am The Worst - but still His!

I have never thought of myself as an "evangelist". To share with people who do not know Christ has always been a little uncomfortable for me. My comfort level is much higher when sharing how God has worked in my life, or helping people see how he is working in their lives, AFTER they have already made the commitment to follow Him.

It is something that, in the past, I experienced a small amount of guilt over, especially knowing that is something He has put me on earth to do. When I have taken various Spiritual Gift Inventories or Evaluations, there is always a sigh of relief when my highest gifts fall in categories like Knowledge, Wisdom, Teaching, Discernment, even Prophet is less scary than Evangelism.

But it's funny, in the last year I have had the wonderful blessing of sharing my story, (which has included the ugliness seen on this blog at times) and leading two different ladies into the decision to become followers of Christ. It might be the first two times that God has ever used me in this way, so intimately involved in His mighty work, that I was present when the decision was made.

That is Evangelism.

Last night (after the movie) I was able to spend some time with one of these ladies as she has become a very, very good friend. It was cool because her best friend (who lives out of state) had come for a visit, and I was invited to join them. They wanted to encourage me at the recent loss of my "best" friendship and it was fun and helpful to be with them. And again, in a situation that was suppose to be about loving me, encouraging me, ended up being used by God to draw the best friend of my new friend and sister in Christ closer to Him. As the evening unfolded and got much later, somewhere around 12:30 a.m., the Holy Spirit lead me into another opportunity for Evangelism.

So, when I got home at nearly 2:00 a.m., I realized how God really does use people in the areas where they are afraid to be used. I think about Moses who questioned God for chapters in
Exodus 3 & 4. Moses finally said,
"Oh, Lord, please send someone else to do it."
God became angry. Moses went.

And Isaiah's words were, "Woe to me! I am ruined! I am a man of unclean lips and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."

But my all time favorite is Paul. In 1 Timothy he says
"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy......"
"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen"

I ran across these verses years ago. God has used them in my life to remind me that if He can use Paul, then He could use other leaders who, in my sinful thought life, I thought were unworthy of their calling. Funny that yesterday, He brought me back to this very verse. My understanding is much deeper today than it was on the date that I underlined those passages in my Bible. I see all people through different eyes today, including those that I questioned, and even myself.

Last night, I shared my painful story with a woman who, for years, has held onto hurt over a past situation with her former church. She heard my pain, she saw me weep, she understood and identified with my anger, but when I shared how Jesus Christ was my everything, that I trusted Him, that I know He loves me, that He gave me the deep, sincere desire to write that apology, her understanding changed and she saw something different. Praise God that He uses sinners, of whom I am the worst, for that very reason I was shown mercy, so that in me, His unlimited patience would be displayed as an example for those who might believe.

Now THAT is Friday night fun!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Friday's Thoughts on Fun

WOO HOO! Those of you who know me also know that the man in that picture is my all time favorite musician! Dave Matthews. And not just him, but his entire band...when they play, something happens to my heart and soul that words cannot explain. Music is a language all it's own, and it is one that my heart understands deep in the depths of my soul.

Tomorrow Lezlie and I will be going out to dinner and then onto Dave Matthews Band concert. My excitement is indescribable.

And no, this is not the first time I have seen him perform. The first time was with my son, Adam, who also loves DMB, and the last time was with my old best friend, Ruth, right before I moved from Virginia to Texas. I guess the memories could be a little bittersweet tomorrow, but I am so, so looking forward to going.

So, get ready for an "I am in love with Dave Matthews" post coming real soon. (smile, Fred)

Tonight, I am off to spend time with my daughter. We are going to see the sequel to one of our favorite movies, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Part 2. As my daughter gets older, I am enjoying my relationship with her more and more. She is becoming one of my favorite friends to hang out with. I am so blessed and so grateful to have a daughter who seems to like me and enjoy spending time with her dorky old mom.

Off, for what I like to call Fun Friday. I am feeling fabulous!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

ABC's of the Word

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29

This particular verse is one that I probably need to tattoo on my face. There have been times in my life when I have not done this at all.
Recently, it has been the case.
In a situation where I found myself very hurt and very angry, I used words to hurt others. I allowed other people to use words to hurt the same people.
As a result, I have lost my best friend, since it was she that I was angry with.
The other's who I hurt are her family, her friends, and the people who I used to worship and serve with in my former church.

The words I used were not building them up and they certainly did not benefit anyone who heard them.
Well, Satan was probably having fun.

I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to the people that I hurt with my unwholesome words.

To Ruth, I am so sorry,
To Steve, and the family, I am truly sorry.
To my former church family, I am also sorry.

I pray that God will bless you, bring good things to you, and continue to grow and bless the fellowship of SCC.

There will be no more negativity from me on this blog.

I pray that you will forgive me.

To readers who know this family, please go to them if you have a concern over what you read. To readers who do not know this family, please know that this is a family who has devoted their lives to serving a God who loves and blesses them. They, like all of us, have difficulties and troubles in their lives. Due to my close relationship with them in the past, I found myself living under the illusion that they were above sin. I have now been dis-illusioned. God allows me to see them through eyes of grace, mercy, and blessing.
For those of you who know me, continue to pray that God will bring continued healing and peace in my life.

For more ABC's of the word, visit Grey Like Snuffie

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Just Love

Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in Your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
Psalm 63:3-5
God is love.
(1 John 4:8)
God's love endures forever.
(1 Chronicles 16:34)
Sometimes, I just can't get a grip on this.
In my mind, everything has a beginning and an end. Life. Relationships. Work Days. Meals. Worship services. Phone Calls. Movies. Sleep.
You name it. It begins and it ends.
Not God's love.
I recently have been questioned about how I can proclaim scripture and have some of the behaviors that I have. I answered the question, to myself, "I am a sinner-but saved by His wonderful grace."
Then His word came to mind and reminded me that nothing will ever change His love for me. My status as a child of God will never change, no matter my behavior...or someone else's.
It can be easy to look at life's circumstances and assume that God does not love us.
But it is not true.
I am a Christ Follower, I am in the family of God and nothing, nothing, NOTHING, will ever change His love for me.
The same is true for you.
So, whatever you or I may be facing, good or bad, praise God for His love!

I choose to remember that nothing I face will change God's enduring love for me. I praise Him for the love He has for me and the life He wants me to live.

Monday, August 11, 2008


I am off to bed for the night...thank GOD, tomorrow will be another day. Work was hard work today, and emotionally hard work too. My only assignment for the end of the day is to make my gratitude list.


1. The wonderful friends that I have...did I say WONDERFUL!?? Thank you all for being there.

2. My mom, and the BEST mom, ever!

3. My husband only has 11 more weeks until he has his Master's degree.

4. I get to see my favorite, favorite band in concert this weekend....DAVE MATTHEWS BAND!

5. I know that I am loved by the God of the Universe, the Creator and I am His precious, Holy Child!

Honky Tonk Fun

So....I guess everyone who lives in Texas has to do it at least one time!

Friday night, I went to a Honky Tonk bar! Cowboys in Arlington was hopping on Friday night and we made it even more fun! I am still laughing out loud.

Let me tell you, I am not a honky tonk girl. I don't like bars (anymore) and had NO desire to go. I was coerced by my friends and co-workers...after all, Yvonne was in town from North Carolina AND it was her 39th birthday. How much of a party pooper could I be? (I knew I could be a BIG party pooper)

These gals were not even arriving at our destination until 9:30 or 10:00 p.m! I religiously am in bed by then most nights! Staying up late is 10:30 - with the few exceptions that Tina and I chat on the phone until after midnight...but those nights are fewer and far-er between. (we are in our 40's now) And I had to drag my poor husband along - again - on another Girls Night Out. Poor guy!

And have I mentioned that I can barely tolerate Country Music? Mercy me! It hurts my ears.

But, I am glad that I went! I will say that Cowboy Boots are on my birthday list, just in case this ever happens again!

The Medical Edge Coders! (Left to Right) Stacey, Jessica, Me (in the front), Diana, and Birthday Girl, Yvonne!

Me and my best Friend!

The Cousins...Yvonne's last name is the same as ours, so Fred has claimed her as kin.

Jessica and Me...she is responsible for bringing me back to the crazy and fabulous job that I now have. She was my boss and now we are great friends!

My husband flirting with Yvonne! He is crazy! So is she!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Today's Thoughts

Today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions.
Today’s jealousy is tomorrow’s temper tantrum.
Today’s bigotry is tomorrow’s hate crime.
Today’s anger is tomorrow’s abuse.
Today’s lust is tomorrow’s adultery.
Today’s greed is tomorrow’s embezzlement.
Today’s guilt is tomorrow’s fear.

Could that be why Paul writes, “Love … keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Cor. 13:5 NIV)?

Sometimes I forget I have an option.

Paul says I do: “We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5).

I am a soldier and my thoughts are my enemies.

What if I succeeded at taking every thought captive? What if I took the counsel of Solomon: “Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life” (Prov. 4:23).

I am not a victim of my thoughts. I have a vote. I have a voice. I can exercise thought prevention. I can also exercise thought permission.

Change the thoughts, and you change the person. If today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions, what happens when I fill my mind with thoughts of God’s love? Will standing beneath the downpour of his grace change the way I feel about ______?

Paul says absolutely! It’s not enough to keep the bad stuff out. I have to let the good stuff in. It’s not enough to keep no list of wrongs. We have to cultivate a list of blessings. The same verb Paul uses for keeps in the phrase “keeps no list of wrongs” is used for think in Philippians 4:8: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things”. Thinking conveys the idea of pondering—studying and focusing, allowing what is viewed to have an impact on me.

I have done enough on the list of wrongs...and although there are so many more that I could record, I choose to make the list of blessings.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Calling All Prayer Warriors

Some of you know that my father in law has been battling cancer for some time. Things have been up and down lately, but every up is lower than the last time. We know that cancer will be what takes him from this earth and on to be with His Lord when he leaves us.

Today we got a report that our family will need to pray about. The cancer has metastasized (again). The oncologist has given the family the freedom to make the decision: either chemotherapy - again, or just keep him comfortable and let God have Him when He is ready.

The chemo might kill him because he is so weak. It does not look like the best answer. But, do we simply choose to not try and fight more?

The family requests your prayers as we make this decision by next Friday.

Psalm 17:6
I call on you, O God, for you will answer me;
give ear to me and hear my prayer.

Burn For You

All day long, this song by Toby Mac has been running through my head. It is an older song, I think about four years. It is my theme song today! I am loving it!

I feel revived again, I am alive again
You got me lifted and lifted you lift me!

Thursday, August 7, 2008


In case you did not know, today was National Fresh Breath Day! I certainly got a kick out of knowing that. I kept chewing gum in my mouth as much as possible. I offered minty gum to everyone that I sat beside. One friend of mine used Listerine for the very first time today. I went to eat dinner with another friend, and we had sushi. We laughed because it was not the best choice for National Fresh Breath Day, so we chewed gum in honor of such a day.

Today also is the anniversary of me and my husband's first date. Twenty eight years ago today, we went to Wendy's Hamburger's at 51st St. and Harvard, Tulsa, OK for our first date. We never forget to wish each other a Happy Anniversary and acknowledge our gratitude for that day. We usually do something nice for each other, today being no exception.

I saw my daughter in her Marching Band uniform for the first time today! What a proud moment. I posted her picture below!

I went to my favorite meeting tonight. We talked about the eighth step of the 12 step program that I am a part of.

Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Interesting topic for me tonight. I received a phone call from someone who is on my list, but I did not return it. I had made a promise to my sponsor and some other people that if that call ever came, I would not respond without calling she and some other people also. I always thought it would be difficult to refrain but it was so easy. I talked it over with four people before I even got to the meeting where my friends would hold me accountable. Everyone agreed it was the best thing. And behold, step eight was the topic of discussion. Direct amends may come some day, but for now I am choosing a living amends by Letting Go and Letting God. And I am choosing my serenity first. When I got to the meeting, I had so many people tell me that I looked more relaxed and at peace than I had in weeks, maybe even months. (most of them did not know what had happened today) Shock for me. I thought I would look stressed and pained when faced with this situation in my life. But I feel free. I must look free. I am smiling. I am laughing. I am at ease. As one person said, my shoulders are relaxed...lower. Ah. Serenity and Peace.

A clean heart.

Tomorrow I am attending a Surgical Coding workshop. Oddly, I am looking forward to it. I love my job and I love learning more about my job. A coworker friend of mine (Yvonne) from Raleigh, NC has flown into town to attend the same workshop. Three of us from the "Girls Gone Wild" group will be going wild over some surgical coding tomorrow! Ha! But the real fun comes when we have Girls Night Out (but of course I invited my man!) tomorrow night in Downtown Ft. Worth.

Just a few random tidbits from the loony, laughable and lovely life of Liz!

Love ya'll!

ABC's of the Word - Thursdays

I have been reading a blog recently that I have really enjoyed....Grey Like Snuffie. She is hosting ABC's of the word every Thursday and when I read about it, I thought it would be fun to ponder a scripture every week that began with the corresponding letter for that week. I love to play games and dwell on God's word, so I thought this would be fun for me too. This week's letter is the letter:

On and off through out the day, knowing that I would post a scripture tonight, I allowed my mind to wander over scriptures that came to mind as I thought of the letter "C". The verse I chose for today is one that I have prayed many, many times and will pray many more I am sure. I love this passage because I know that God can do it. With the current circumstances in my life, I have recited it over and over as I meditate on His promise to answer this beautiful request.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10

Proud Band Mom!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

My New Life

My life has just changed forever.

Last week, my daughter began her band activities as a freshman in High School. Lucky for me I had been told by a friend who used to be involved in Texas band years and years ago that Texas band was no comparison to what I had experienced as a Virginia band Mom. When that comment came along, I had no idea that I would experience Texas band first hand, but here I go.

Last Saturday I took my daughter to register for band. She had already had two days of practice and now it was time to make the fitted for the marching uniform, buy the shoes, t-shirts for hot weather performances, etc, etc, even a Band Mom and Band Dad t-shirt for us to wear at games! I took along my veteran band mom and very good friend so that she could show me the ropes. She is in the last two years of band, her youngest child is a junior this year at the same school, also in the same band as my daughter. She has had two other kids graduate from said school, having marched all four years. She had all the inside information that I needed to make the afternoon at the High School as painless as possible.

Painless? Did I say painless?

I spent what felt like my life savings!

And I signed my life away for the next several months. Concession stand. Chaperon away games. Monitor for Band Competitions. Whew! I am tired just thinking about it!

But I can't possibly be as tired as my daughter. She has marched for days solid, for seven hours a day in sweltering heat. (If you have watched the national weather, or if you live in Texas, you know that we have been over 100 degrees for weeks straight now!) It is grueling what she has to go through.

So, Band Mom has just become a major part of who I am. I am excited though. When my older son marched in the band, it was difficult for me to get too involved because my now High School age daughter was in elementary school. This will be my last hoorah. I plan on going for it with all I have. I will have Band Mom friends, and Band Mom shirts, and be Band Mom annoying. I will attend every football game, take my pom poms, work concession stand, ride the bus to away games and be full of Jaguar spirit!

How fun! For four fun filled years, I will be the best Band Mom I can possibly be!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Whatever You're Doing

Back in the spring, a friend shared with me a music video by Sanctus Real that described how she was feeling. The video and the note from her sparked my I did a little research on the songs that this particular band had recorded. I found that I liked the band, so I started listening to them here and there.

The week that I returned from my trip to Virginia, a couple of days after the phone call from her to end that long time friendship, I heard this particular song on the radio, a different song but by the same band. I had not heard it before, but I will never forget the moment that I heard it for the first time. It was about 7:15 a.m. on June 28th...two days after I received that phone call that changed my life and attitude about friendship and what God is doing in this particular situation. I felt like the song had been written for me before I was born, before I knew Christ, back when He was the only one who knew what would happen between myself and the woman who I would call my soul mate - friend.

This song stops me in my tracks and reminds me that God is totally in control of everything. I am so grateful for the beautiful and mysterious ways that He works. The surprising ways that He brings His word into my life, like with this song. This is the one thing that I feared for many years; knowing that God could give this beautiful friendship and somehow always knowing that He would take it away. It might be for a season, or it might be for the rest of my life, but when I hear this song, I remember who is God,
I know that whatever He's's something heavenly!

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
Larger than life something heavenly

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out