Spending My Time - His Time

I sit at my computer, staring at my own blog as if it belongs to someone else. Some days it feels that way. Like today.

Who is that person who had thoughts that overflow and bubble out of her heart and mind with nowhere to go except to put words together and ...

And what?

And pretend that what I have to say is interesting? No.

Not really. It might be interesting to me. I believe that it might be interesting to God, but I don't need to post it on a public blog for Him to find out about it. And even most of my family members and close friends are probably "caught up" enough on my life to not even need to pop over here and find out what's on my mind.

But, here I am...computer screen in front of me, beckoning purpose, expression of life and of wonder. And the thoughts that turn to prose press on me to let them loose, as if they were alive, and begging to be freed.

The past few weeks (I have been absent for a while), my mind has been occupied and busy with things that are not of my choosing, but things that I am responsible for - and with joyful acceptance. Policies. Procedures. Patient Rights. Advance Directives. Charity Care Guidelines. And Patient Safety. The hospital that I work for, just completed our first accreditation survey. Grueling. Detailed, and precise. But my mind works well under this kind of pressure and although it is tough, it is invigorating to be a part of and witness to a dream turn to a reality and help patients, who have experienced a trauma that has changed their life forever, move to a healing that will allow them to live at home, with or without help, but not hospitalized forever.

Stroke patients who come to our hospital and cannot speak, go home with words to express what they need, what they want, and who they love. Ones who cannot walk because their brain has forgotten how to make their legs move, and the ones who's finger's forget how to hold a fork - they all re-learn how to live.

A young man, who at 3 a.m. one morning, wraps his car around a pole and survives. Brain injury so severe that he cannot remember how to eat, but leaves to go home with his parents, able to speak, to walk, to communicate, and to hope for a life that he knows he is lucky to have.

The old woman who has fallen 5 times in 2 days and is so weak that she is unsafe at home; leaving with equipment and tools to keep her safe as she walks from her bed to the restroom.

And it goes on and on.

And I can think of nothing to say. Nothing to share that you might want to read.
All I can think of at the end of this day is we are all here, for the time that God has given us. And if you are reading this, be grateful. You are able.

And I am too.

What a gift, and I forget when I wake in the morning and it's another day, of policies and procedures, of Patient Rights, and Important Messages from Medicare, Advance Directives, and payment agreements, and insurance benefits, charge codes, lab procedures and charity care. And it is another day. Just another day?

But what a glorious day it is. And I might not have sang a hymn or worship chorus at church or even in my car, and I didn't participate in communion today, or give an offering, teach a Bible Study, or give to the poor, but I lived my life, the life that God has placed me in, to His glory. And I might not have shared the gospel today, but I lived it. And every person I saw who is alive, I praised God knowing it was by His grace and mercy that they are here right now (especially the ones in my hospital), and every patient that I represent, or protect, I am a servant of God.

So, I might not have much to write about....
but I have been busy.
And for that I am grateful.

Live like it's heaven on earth,