Monday, April 23, 2012

All Things New

Well, hmmm.
I logged into blogger this evening with thoughts of blogging which have now totally left my mind.  Blogger has totally changed their format and I cannot figure out how to move my signature to the bottom of the page.  Oh bother.

I suppose I will have to spend a little time figuring out how to make this work again.

And I was also given the option to create a new blog.  I found it interesting that I was prompted to do that in such a bold and random fashion, but I actually gave it a bit of thought.  I started this blog as a means by which to communicate interesting thoughts and photos to my friends and family.  We had moved to Texas after living in Virginia for nearly 12 years, and I thought it would be fun.  Well, it was fun and then almost everyone ended up on facebook.  (which I have a love/hate relationship with)  Sometime during my heavy blogging phase, I was regularly reading other blogs and commenting on them.  I made "blog" friends.  At the time, my husband was getting his master's degree and I had a lot of free time to ponder, write, etc.  That has changed now and the time I have is spent with him or my family and the newest "time taker", the Biblical Counseling certification that I am working toward.  Now only a few people read my blog, close friends and family, and this is fine since it is why I do this.  But as I contemplate a "new" blog, I give it serious thought for one reason and one reason only.  I have one person, who reads this blog on a regular basis (on average, twice a week), who I am just a little uncomfortable with.  Years ago, there were posts on this blog that were hurtful and mean.  The appropriate apologies have been made and that relationship is now ended...but these former friends continue to read my blog.  I am bewildered.  Stunned, even.  The same person has blocked me on facebook...but visits here.  I understand that this is a public domain, free and available to anyone, but why bother?  I can only hope that it is because the person still cares in some odd sort of way.  Or maybe there is still fear that I would write something that would embarrass or hurt them?  Only they know why they lurk here.

So, I will have to give this some thought.  I have evaluated it for years...yes, years.  I have prayed over it.  I have discussed it at length with ministers and counselors and friends.  And I look at it now from the perspective of a "counselor".  I know that the situation is not pleasing nor honoring to God.  I know that the bitterness and resentment that I once felt has been replaced by love and mercy, but I don't have the amount of grace that God would if it were Him in these shoes.  Sanctification.  Walking and living in freedom, in my identity as His child, knowing that no matter if they "lurk" or were to openly make contact, it doesn't really matter.  They cannot hurt me.  They cannot condemn me.  God uses this blog...and these spies (that's what it feels like anyway) to continue to grow me into His image.

Ok...I don't need a new blog to identify my new heart!

We will see what I decide to do with the blog address.

He makes all things new.
(my name is at the top)


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