Liz's Letters

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival." - C. S. Lewis I am grateful to all those who give value to my survival.

I have always found it very interesting the way that the disciple John refers to himself in scripture. He uses third person and he calls himself "the one that Jesus loved". (See John 13:23, John 20:2 and John 21:20 for examples.) I never said so out loud, but I thought him to be just a little proud. The claim John makes in his definition of himself always made me just a little uncomfortable somehow. I would explain it to myself and even others as a description of the close relationship that Jesus had with him...even Jesus had a "best" friend. And even though I still believe this is part of the illustration that is being made here, I have added something new and even more beautiful to John's confidence. John was totally focused on Jesus' love for him. As I read through the gospel of John, and his other writings in 1, 2, and 3 John, there is a definite security in John's certainty of God's love for him. I always get the feeling that he really d...

My husband started back to school this week. His goal is a Master's degree. My goal is survival. No, really, it is not that bad having him in school. He takes on-line classes, so he is at home when he is at school. This does help...sometimes. As I type, he is locked away in our oldest son's bedroom on his laptop. A co-worker (who is also my friend) and I were talking this week about the change in our schedule with Fred starting classes. She knew I had enjoyed the summer due to Fred's decision to wait until fall to begin the new semester. She also had been witness to the pace we were dealing with when he was finishing up his bachelor's degree last year. As a matter of fact, she encouraged me to drag him to as many movies as I could last weekend knowing that is the one thing I really miss when he is so busy with homework. (and I did manage to get him to two very good movies- 3:10 to Yuma and Brave One.) However, as we talked, she observed that Fred has been a s...

I have always noticed shoes. I like shoes. Shoes say a lot about women. If I am at a party where I don't know very many people, sometimes I will select someone to talk to simply because of their shoes. Shoes give away secrets, like age, personality, even financial status...or maybe what one wishes of their financial status. One time at a church service, I had a lengthy conversation with the woman sitting next to me - even exchanged phone numbers - and it all started over a cute pair of shoes! I, personally, am somewhat conservative in my shoe personality. Part of that is finances. My husband is very frugal and does not REALLY understand how one woman could possibly need twenty pair of black shoes for one winter season! So, I have tried to scale the black shoe selection to 10 or 12 pair. This policy eliminates many of the trendy styles, especially when it seems they may only last for a season. But I have a friend who really likes shoes. She buys shoes in different colors....

And I should add that I did fix Freeda's roommate's blouse and covered her back up before I left the room!

Last night I met the neatest woman. Her name is Freeda and I met her as she sat in a chair, quietly in her room in a nursing home. When I walked into her room, I first noticed her roommate lying on a mattress on the floor. She was sleeping, but fitfully struggling with her her blouse that was entangled around her arm. I glanced at her, wondering if there was anything I could do to help. Freeda noticed my curious stare and said, "She rolls off her bed." I knew that she was unaware of her neighbors clothing plight, so I responded with, "Oh. OK." As I approached Freeda I noticed that she was smiling expectantly. I introduced myself and asked her how she was. Her response was, "Pretty good except I can't use my hands. They are too weak for me do anything." I looked at her hands. They were resting on the tray in front of her, shaking and drawn. I reached out and took her hands into mine. They were so soft. I encouraged her the best I could, tryin...

I would like to add just a little post thought to my last blog to clarify myself. I believe in being able to confide in friends. I do not believe in gossip. If a friend confides in me, her confidence is kept. The type of situations that I am referring to are ones that are hurting others, putting others in jeopardy as in abuse, drugs, unlawful behavior, and blatant repeated sin. Those type of situations require confrontation and action. There are times that secrets need to be shared so that healing can take place. The "secrets" of my friends and loved ones will NOT end up on this blog...or on the ears of people who don't need to hear them. My purpose is to explain why I am determined to be real with who I am and the circumstances that have influenced me in this area. Just clarifying.

Why is it that some people are just not tolerant of other people’s mistakes and some people are? I used to think that the ones that were intolerant, the one’s who write other people off due to a disappointment or deception, are the one’s who never made a mistake themselves. I don’t think so anymore. They make just as many mistakes as people who freely give others a second chance. I have the human tendency to hold grudges. It seems that when I believe someone has done me wrong, I am tempted to put an end to their involvement in my life. I know this is a wrong behavior but I must admit, it is my first response. The phrase “fight or flight” has been used several times as I study, read, and have counseled in effort to make for healthier relationships. I might be the type of person who fights then flies. Do I have to choose? If left up to me, I will choose both. And I certainly make my share of mistakes! I think that my dear husband has been the one who has suffered most from this ...

OK. I am really beginning to wonder what is up with this. Today, as I spent time with the Lord, I ran across some devotional words written by one of my favorite guys - Chuck Swindoll. This is what I received from them. No matter how significant you may become, no matter how well known your name, no matter how important your work, no matter your salary, no matter what your reputation may be, you must allow yourself to become who you are. The greatest gift that you can give others is WHO you are. Think about it like this..."We are not who we are, we are not even who we think we are. We are who we think other people think we are." Read that again. If you're in that world no wonder you have struggles with character! Character will not emerge from a phony life, which is all the more reason to go back to that word - AUTHENTIC. Know who you are. Accept who you are. Be who you are.

Healing is a wonderful phenomena. God is so cool that He thought about this as He created living things. When a plant looses a leaf or a piece of itself, new growth appears. There are certain creatures that can loose parts of thier bodies and they will grow back! Amazing! As humans, our bodies can sustain horrible, life threatening injuries, and we heal. So cool! I have been thinking a lot about this in the last few days. My mom had her surgery yesterday and we are all pleased with the outcome. She has a large section of her femur (thigh) bone that has not healed in two years. Her doctor has tried many different techniques, but this bone has been very stubborn and seems to refuse to heal. This time he tried a new grafting material that has been very successful recently and he has high hopes that it will work in promoting growth - healing - this time. He also secured some screws and hardware in her artifical hip, transferred some muscles around to help ease some of her pain ...

My mom and I just returned from a retreat. We were in the foothills of the beautiful Ozark Mountains in Missouri. It has been a tradition for my mom to attend this retreat...I think this was the 11th time she has been a participant. I was finally able to go with her and it was great. It was fun, thought provoking, healing and refreshing. Once we got to the retreat center, the first thing we did is check in at registration. Since there are people from all different cities, one of the things they ask is that the participants wear name tags. One of the traditions is that every name tag has a positive adjective on it. The name tags are blank except for the one word on the tag. They are placed upside down so that you cannot read the words that are on the name tags. After you register your arrival, you are suppose to select your name tag (without looking) and put your name on it. The fun thing is that this word is YOUR description, your very own word for the weekend. You are to BE this word ...

Two years ago today, I received a dreaded phone call...the kind of call that makes your heart stop. My mother's employer called me to let me know that my mom and her husband of over 21 years had been involved in an accident. They were in the hospital and had been there overnight. I was shocked and I was terrified. My mind could not quite grasp what was going on, and I knew it was serious if my mom had not called me in over 12 hours herself. I called the hospital and found out that my mom was on her way into surgery. I grabbed a change of clothes and took off for the longest 5 hour drive of my life. When I arrived, my mom was still in surgery and her husband was in ICU. The situation was critical. They had been riding on a motorcycle and hit by a car. My mom's surgery took over 10 hours. Her husband did not make it through his. I was there for nearly 2 months. All of our lives have changed drastically since that day. It has been an awakening about what is important in life. Thes...

Interesting how this topic continues to occupy my thoughts. God must have something for me to learn (or teach?) about being real. It seems every where I turn, someone is talking about being real. I had a lovely lunch with a new friend a few days ago. I thought we were both being pretty real, learning more about one another. Even though we didn't actually SAY anything about being real, I know that was the goal. The following day, she wrote a thought provoking blog entry...about being real. Hmmmm. Now I want to talk to her again - REALLY- about being real. There is a radio program that I listen to many days during my commute into Dallas for work. I have about 45 minutes in the morning so it is a good time to listen to God's word. Today, the broadcaster spoke about being real. Interesting. Tonight, I attended a Bible Study at my great church (Fellowship Church). The study is about meeting needs. In order to see these needs and meet them, one must be real. Relationship...