Being Real

Relocation has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. When I was a child I lived in 6 different homes...and these do not include the ones before my memory begins. Then, as a married adult, I have made 8 different moves in 27 years. All of these moves in my adulthood were to different cities and four of these have been cross country relocations. No, my husband is not in the military (nor was my father) but it seems that God has a plan for me that frequently requires a move.

As a forty something year old woman, this most recent move has been different. In the past, I was able to make friends quite quickly. I have found that having young children creates a bond between women - sometimes in a matter of seconds, so friends were easy to find. Now that my children are grown and older, I find myself with no "excuse" to get together with other women, no play dates, no field trips or birthday parties. So, friendship building has become much more purposeful.

Having lived in the same area for over ten years prior to this move, I also notice that I have history with my "old" friends. They know what I have been through, what I enjoy, what I don't enjoy...some of them know the good, the bad, and the ugly. They know the "real" Liz. Here and now, I have a totally new start, able to be who I want to be, or who I think I want to be. Hmm. Interesting. Can I really start totally over?

No.

I do have one friend who lives in this area who has known me for almost 20 years. Not likely I can fool her with a new me!

And I am making new friends. It is fun! What is funny is, I find that even my new friends are describing me the same way my "old" ones do! Last week I got a note from one of these new friends. She wrote, "You are inspiring, you are real and sincere." I stared at her words. It was the second time I had heard them from someone who doesn't REALLY know me in a week!

So, I started thinking...about being real and being sincere. I concluded that I don't like to keep secrets. I am not the type of person who likes to hide who I really am. I am not usually afraid of what others would think if they find out the truth about me. Keeping secrets cause me to feel separate, different, and inadequate. Secrets about me, kept from others, are burdensome and hinder my ability to experience peace, which I strive for daily.

I prefer self disclosure. It is risky business, but it is humbling and it is necessary for me to make "real" friends. When I tell others who I really am, it opens the door for them to do the same. Then we become bonded and God's unconditional love becomes the foundation in our relationship. Our tarnished selves become lovable as we strive for oneness with God and oneness with one another.

May I look for opportunities to share my secrets, to be real and sincere today, tomorrow, and in the months ahead. I will be courageous in my ability to be real in my friendships - old and new!

Real and sincere. I like it.