I found myself thinking about this almost all day...what is the difference between helping someone or hounding someone? I thought about the times that I have asked people to remind me to do things. I do it pretty often at work saying something like, "If you don't hear back from me by tomorrow, remind me." Or when I have made a decision to eat healthy or exercise and ask someone to hold me accountable, I expect frequent questions as to my behavior or how I have spent my time. I have never viewed this as bothersome, but only what was expected. If I ask someone to help me remember to do something, I expect them to ask me until it is done.
One of my personality traits is being able to remember some things easily. It just comes natural to me. I remember dates, words, clothing that people had on when I met them...all kinds of strange things stick in my mind. Because of this, many of my friends have asked me to help them remember to do things. I have no problem with this, because once it comes to my attention, my mind will not allow it to dump until the task has been completed or I release any mental responsibility. I can help people remember to make doctor appointments, hair appointments, conversations they say they want to have but need to prepare for, etc. And I will ask regularly until it has been accomplished. I have never had any complaints from those folks who have asked for me to help them with my memory skills but it was pointed out to me recently that some one defined my behavior as hounding. Since this observation sort of hurt my feelings, I conducted a short survey of people who have been on the receiving end of my so called hounding to see if they ever felt I was overbearing or obnoxious. It was a relief for me to find that all of my efforts were appreciated, even by the person who was accused of allowing me to hound her to accomplish her task.
I am glad I am not left to wonder about this anymore. And because I do have a difficult time dismissing things, I post this blog so I won't be tempted to waste any more of my time thinking about this stupid comment. I am dumping it with total confidence that I have not offended anyone who matters in my life by helping.
I have better and more worthwhile things to think about.
Ecclesiastes 4:10
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
(or doesn't really want help!)
Helpful?
~Liz
One of my personality traits is being able to remember some things easily. It just comes natural to me. I remember dates, words, clothing that people had on when I met them...all kinds of strange things stick in my mind. Because of this, many of my friends have asked me to help them remember to do things. I have no problem with this, because once it comes to my attention, my mind will not allow it to dump until the task has been completed or I release any mental responsibility. I can help people remember to make doctor appointments, hair appointments, conversations they say they want to have but need to prepare for, etc. And I will ask regularly until it has been accomplished. I have never had any complaints from those folks who have asked for me to help them with my memory skills but it was pointed out to me recently that some one defined my behavior as hounding. Since this observation sort of hurt my feelings, I conducted a short survey of people who have been on the receiving end of my so called hounding to see if they ever felt I was overbearing or obnoxious. It was a relief for me to find that all of my efforts were appreciated, even by the person who was accused of allowing me to hound her to accomplish her task.
I am glad I am not left to wonder about this anymore. And because I do have a difficult time dismissing things, I post this blog so I won't be tempted to waste any more of my time thinking about this stupid comment. I am dumping it with total confidence that I have not offended anyone who matters in my life by helping.
I have better and more worthwhile things to think about.
Ecclesiastes 4:10
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
(or doesn't really want help!)
Helpful?
~Liz
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