It happens, whether we want it to or not.
Faster than we think or sometimes not fast enough.
Change has been on my mind a lot the last few weeks.
My habits are changing. I exercise more often. I eat different foods. I have changed from 3 or 4 cups of coffee every morning to one or two cups of herbal tea. I can hardly believe that myself!
How I spend my time is changing. Family time is a priority. I always thought it was before, but my eyes have been opened to my own deceit. My daughter is turning 16 in two weeks, and I don't like to leave her alone at home. Not because I don't trust her because I do, but because I want to be with her if she is available. This is a change because not that long ago, I didn't mind leaving her at home to self entertain. Now I can hardly stand it.
Change. I pray differently these days. My time with God is sweeter and my requests are more about loving Him more, seeing Him work in the lives of those around me, and asking Him to break my heart over what breaks His heart. If He reveals things to me that are not pleasing to Him, I ask Him to forgive me. If He gives me discernment about another sister or brother, I intercede instead of judge.
And I think about these things, wondering, what happened? How has this happened? I realize it is not anything I have done. It is all God. He is transforming me, little by little, to be more like Him. Sanctification. How amazing. I don't deserve it. After all, I am a sinner...a terrible, evil, mean spirited sinner. And for no reason other than He loves me, He makes beauty of my messiness, my meanness, and my uncaring heart. He reminds me, like He did just last night, that He loves me - whether I like it or not, whether I deserve it or not - He just loves me. And the things that I have done that make me shake my head in disbelief...the wrong I have done, the gossip I have spread, the rage I have spread - gone. Yep, forgiven. What a wonderful thing to be a victim of His grace, His mercy.
Change. The only change I really need to think about is the change that God is making in me. I am more than a conqueror! He is victorious in me!
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
~Romans 8:37 - 39