Evidently, I am not inspired to be creative. Days come and go and this is the conversation that I hear:
Love Writing Liz, "I want to post something on my blog."
Me, "But what are you going to write about?"
Love Writing Liz, "I am not sure, but I know something will is there (in my heart) that is ready to be expressed."
Me, "I am not sure about that. The brain seems have taken over for the heart and your words are a little....well, direct- aka dull."
Love Writing Liz, "That's okay...write anyway."
My mind has been busy. For this I am thankful. For one thing, it means I can think! And it also
means I am learning, which is fun and makes me feel just a little more alive.
There are a lot of changes happening in my world. Some of them are initiated by me, some of them have been introduced by others but I agreed to, and some of them? Well, some of them are just happening whether I like it or not.
One evening, recently, I was with two other friends who know me well. We decided that we would make a list of everything in our lives that we did not have control over. Then we also listed all of the things that we do have control over. We discussed our lists among the three of us, encouraged one another and planned to work on the things we were able to change. This was beneficial in my ability to let go of worry or stress over the changes that come into my life without my permission! :)
Some of the changes, however, are ones that I am enjoying. In April, I will participate with some friends in my first triathlon! What a huge, but fun change as I begin training. Cycling has been my preferred form of exercise, but now I will add swimming and running. It has been a good while since I ran (jogged), but it feels good to be back at it. Swimming has always been recreational for me and I look forward to improving that skill. I have a swim lesson set up with a fellow cyclist who was on the swim team in High School and college. And yes, she is young, but this is good! She will give me tips and help me determine my strongest stroke. Additional change will hopefully be a more fit body. After all, I do house the Spirit of God, and I want to glorify Him in this area. Even though I have lost nearly 25 pounds in 2009, sadly I must say, I have another 15 or so to go. (admitting how much overweight I had become is very humbling!) THIS is a change I look forward to! And thankful??? Oh yes! That I am capable of doing this with God's help! Thankful that I will be able to (God willing) spend a little more time in this life enjoying my loved ones. If I leave this earth before I am old, I pray that it will not be because I did not care for my physical body.
Change is happening in my spiritual life too! In a little more than a week, a brand new home group will begin in my house! This change is initiated by God, but I have said "yes" in obedience. I am thankful because He has given me all I need to do this, and I am also thankful because He has prepared me. And oh how He has prepared me. Five years ago, almost to the day, I resigned my ministry position as Leader of Discipleship at my former church. The events that lead to that resignation were painful and I didn't think I wanted to serve in this area (or any to be really honest) again. Today, I am so excited at the opportunity to shepherd women as they grow closer to the Lord, myself included! I am thankful for the 3 women who have stepped up to help start the group, and the one who has already committed to come! In preparation, I have been fasting, (Daniel fast) and God has been awesome. He has revealed new things, softened my heart, and given my new insight. As I ponder and pray, His presence is very real. So much so, the other night, as I prayed, I asked for Him to give me words to speak as I was going to give testimony as to how I came into leadership for this position. He answered me, clearly, IN MY PRAYER! It was awesome. I spoke the words that He gave me and it was just as if He placed them in my mouth and I simply opened it so they would come out. Talk about THANKFUL!
Those are just two of the changes happening that I am thankful for today.
Blessings surround me in my family and friends. I am thankful that my marriage is strong and even though it is not perfect, it is good, real good. My kids are wonderful and I am so proud of them. And God has given me such good friends that I just get all mushy just thinking about them.
So, even though I am not feeling creative, and writing is difficult right now, my heart is bursting with excess! This is when I want to write...it is as if I have to write, to get rid of what I can't carry.
And my heart is full of thankfulness.