Sunday, June 17, 2007

Having a teenage daughter


I believe that I am very blessed to have a daughter. The first two children born into our family were boys, and even though I was happy to have boys and I loved raising our sons, there was something inside of me that yearned for a daughter. I enjoy my relationship with my mother, and as I became a mother myself, I thought it would be neat to carry that mother-daughter thing into the next generation. I was excited to think of dressing a baby in pretty pink, ruffled outfits, and had visions of placing hair clips and bows into flowing long hair. I persuaded Fred to try for this daughter that I dreamed about and when she was finally born, she was everything I ever imagined - except she didn't have much hair. This did remedy itself as time went on and now, at 13, she has beautiful flowing blond hair. What I did not dream about was what my life would be like when my beautiful, sweet daughter turned into a teenager! She did not ask my permission, but one day she went to bed as my princess and the next day I was face to face with a teenage monster. I realized that the first 12 years of her life certainly must have been a set up! She let us all believe she was part of our family, actually an active participant, and then BAM she turned into teenage girl overnight! OH MY! My mother never told me about this. I never took any classes in school preparing me for this. Nobody ever warned me about teenage hormonal mood swings though, and if this is what my own mother had to put up with when I was a teen, the only thing I can say is "I am sooo sorry. Please forgive me!" In the meantime, I spend a lot of time wondering which mood she is in when she enters a room, evaluating the look in her eyes, and deciding if it is safe to ask her if she has put her laundry away. (for the 3rd time) And I listen, with great hope, to the advice I get from mothers of adult daughters. Words like "It will pass" and "It does get better" are my hope and my strength. It must be so, I know some of these daughters, now adults, who's mother's claim to have experienced the same things that I am going through now. And I believe it can happen because there are some moments that I can catch a glimpse of the daughter I know. And I believe that some day on the other side of teenage-hood, a loving, kind, adult daughter will emerge and I can rejoice!

4 comments:

Mary Ann Duncan said...

I promise it will get better - really! Love, Mom

Tinks said...

Hang in there, I am enjoying life with Lindly and she is still a teenager (although only for one more year!) Now, if I can only survive the BOYS!

Adam said...

She might be difficult and causing all sorts of trouble right now, but hopefully she will grow out of it. I mean, I remember getting mad at you all the time when I was that age. There were all sorts of arguments. However, I like to think we have a pretty darn good relationship right now. I mean, I don't think she's going to grow up to disown you. She's not that stupid. So I think things will turn out okay.

Adam said...

Oh yeah, and you need more paragraphs and less big walls of text. =)