Roller Coaster

Emotional roller coaster....that is the best way to describe me. I have so many different things going on in my life, in my heart, and in my relationship with God, that the ride is coming close to giving me motion sickness!

Some of what I am experiencing creates the feeling of being way on top of that first great big climb of the best roller coasters...you know the ones....you start out slow, the coaster is clicking away as you climb to the top of a huge mountain. The anticipation is great while you climb, seeing nothing but the top where you are headed. Once at the top, there is usually a few seconds where you have time to take in the view. When I do this, I get a thrill. I love to look all around! I feel big and tall and excited! I feel this way about the cruise that I am getting ready to take. I feel this way about my marriage. I feel this way about the new friendships that I am making and expect to make. I feel this way about Adam's upcoming graduation, his new girlfriend, and excitement over what is ahead for him. There is a certain anticipation about what is to come...the flying ride down the mountain...fast and invigorating, knowing that the ride is just beginning and there are a lot of unexpected tosses and turns along the way.

But some of what I am experiencing are the parts of the coaster that are low. I can't see anything but the tracks all around me...the places I have been, the places I want to go. Some of these places are in tunnels, dark and lonely tunnels. I can't see. It is scary. I feel this way about some friendships that have changed and the future of these relationships. I feel this way about wondering if my mom will ever walk. Sometimes, I even feel this way about some of the situations that have me on the top of this ride.

When I think about this and start to feel discouraged, I remember that I choose to go on these roller coasters. I have paid big money to go places and ride these things and even been known to ride then go right back in line to ride again. One time, I did that 4 times in a row - on purpose!
So, roller coaster emotions are not so bad. What I want to remember as I ride this ride are the fun parts. The scary parts only last a minute and they always contribute to the overall joy of the ride. I learn to be brave. I learn to hold on (to God). I learn to trust. I learn to have fun!

Aren't roller coasters fun? Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee.......