Connected

When I read the words in the Bible, out of the book of Romans, chapter 12, verse 5, I take them quite seriously. God's Word Translation of this passage is one of my favorites and it reads like this:
Christ makes us one body...connected to each other.

I love what God is saying here, I love what it means, and I love how it plays out in his perfect plan. I believe it, and I am willing to live it to the best of my ability, knowing that I must walk with Him in order to do it right.

But I haven't always felt this way. And my husband hasn't either. When I met him, he wanted nothing to do with the organized church due to some pain he experienced in his life due to divorce in his family and the way it was handled in his "home" church. He worked through it and began attending again with me, then a new believer. We went together and I started out my relationship with Christ in a church family that surrounded me with love. In that family, though, I saw hurt and questioned God's plan. He answered my questions with healing and love. What was meant for harm in the situation I was witness to, turned out for the better. My faith in "the church" was renewed and I trusted that God would always work things out for good.

Now, I know that we are all sinners, and I accepted this believing that God made all things good. So, plugging right along in my connectedness, I even taught a class that sometimes dealt with lack of trust in the church, with other's who had experienced painful or confusing connections with a church/family of God. I was a firm believer in forgiveness, nobody is perfect, God can change hearts and we all make mistakes...it is what you do with them that makes the difference.
I didn't know that God was going to really ask me to put my money where my mouth is with this lesson. I eventually found myself with some insight to this church, this family of God, that rocked my faith in God's plan to the very core of my being. Still knowing that people are not perfect, we are all sinner's, I also discovered that some sinner's justify their sin...even in the church family...worse yet, even in leadership. Where are you, God??

Thankfully, God answered my cry for help.

But in that answer, I was removed from the body of Christ that I was connected to. It was a struggle. My faith in God's plan for the church was shattered, I questioned whether He knew what He was doing and questioned whether we, His children, His followers, could ever do "church" the way He intended. My former hopes and dreams of what being connected as one body meant turned into disappointment and sadness over how far we are from the mark. I gave up all hope.

Out of sheer obedience to His word, with no desire to do so, I began to attend my current home church, Fellowship. I was distrusting, skeptical and only there because God would not allow me to quit. (I asked, I begged and I pleaded, but He insisted) I sat in the service week after week, evaluating, questioning, praying. Slowly, God began to reveal to me the beauty of his plan. I remember the first glimpse of hope that I experienced. I turned to my husband, and I said these words, "They are doing it!" with a little spark of hope.

Fellowship has been a wonderful place of healing. It is a church that follows God. The leaders are accountable to each other and to God. Jesus Christ is the head of this church. What a refreshing thing to re-discover. I have been blessed as I worship, as I learn, as I give, as I greet, and as I teach. I have found hope, I have been blessed through my obedience as I have followed Him through this journey of relearning what it means to be connected to the body.

After two plus years of healing, I am beginning to experience God moving. He has given me a new hope, a renewed desire to serve Him. I am ready to step out where He asks me to go, even though I don't know where that is. I am ready for a deeper connection with the body. It seems that there is somewhere else I am to be, people who are waiting for something I have learned. As I have prayed about this, God has been quick and clear in His direction. I have to act. Doors opened so wide that I have to walk through. I am excited to see what He has planned.

I am formed for God's family. I am ready to belong again. I need other's in my life. I want to be connected.

We visited another church family yesterday at God's very obvious leading. The experience was invigorating. I felt connected. It seemed I had come home. I will continue to pray and follow His lead. I know He has the perfect place for us, exactly where we fit, where we are needed...home.

Blessings,
~Liz