Liz's Letters

(Quotes by Lisa Whittle in Green) The great Sunday Morning Fake Out...do I know anyone who attends worship services regularly that has NOT experienced something almost just like this? I don't think so. There is a song by Casting Crowns, Stained Glass Masquerade , that addresses this same issue. The song ministered to me when I first heard it, still does now, and this story and chapter, hit it exactly. However, I realize that it is really not what I long for-no masquerading for me. Not that I always want to be frazzled and imperfect like I sometimes am, but I do want to be real. So, what is it that makes us want others to see us as "perfect"? Why does it matter? In my life, I have noticed that I have fooled myself into believing that if I am less than perfect, that might mean that I am failing. Whether it be at marriage, parenthood, housecleaning, weight, whatever...if I am not doing it "right", then I must be doing it "wrong". Then, adding to that pres...

I just wanted to say that the weekend was lovely. The weather was beautiful, the drive was easy with my daughter's super attitude, music that was jammin', the best mom ever, fantastic food, and we might have been the best looking group of women to ever have our picture taken at J C Penney! Have mercy...we did look great! I can't wait to show you how good the pictures turned out, even with my sister stressing out a little and my lovely niece not wanting to wear her white shirt. We made it through the muddy waters and came out sparkling pretty! I am all rested up and started on the work week. Fred and I started looking at new cars today. Pretty soon we will pass my little Nissan along to Rebecca. Even with gas prices, I am still looking seriously at the Nissan Mirano. Found one today that we almost bought! Ha! Talk about spontaneous. But, we decided to slow down. There is another one that I have my eye on too, so I guess we should not behave irrationally. Wha...

I am off to spend some time with my daughter at my mom's house, and with my sister and my beautiful niece. We are going to have as much girl time as we can pack in to a weekend, including a professional photograph taken of all of us, but especially the little one! On my list of things to be grateful for is the fact that I can spend time with my family. For many years, I was half a country away, unable to hop right up to see family whenever the mood struck. Those days were good, but not nearly as good as knowing that I can go "home" when my heart and soul needs a little unconditional lovin' from my family. See you next week. ~Liz

Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth. Psalm 26:2 I know what it is to be deceived and manipulated, so do you. We see it played out on television and in the media. I have experienced it first hand, so might have you. So I guard myself from being taken advantage of by others. But what many of us don't realize is that the most destructive deceit comes from ourselves. I found that I like to convince myself that what I do in life is okay. I hear others do the same. Self-deceit is one of the ways we try to rationalize our own behavior. It's one way we deal with our sin. We pretend that it never happened. And before long we believe ourselves rather than understanding the truth that our sin has a consequence. There is one person we can never deceive. God won't be tricked by our justifications and rationalizations. Sin is sin. And it needs to be dealt with radically if we are going...

Shout for j oy to the LORD, all the earth, burst into j ubilant song with music; Psalm 98:4 Joy and Jubilant J words from God's word that just jump out at me. enJoy! For more ABC's of the word visit Grey Like Snuffie

Last night, I attended my Home Group. For those of you who aren't sure what that is, it is a group of friends, old, new, and future, who come together regularly for spending time together. It is a dynamic of "church"...it is "church". At my group, we eat dinner, we talk over the message from the week before, delve into deeper Bible Study, and exchange prayer requests. I am fairly new to this group, but I have to say they have embraced me and loved me. I feel so at home with them and feel like I have known them for years. What I enjoyed about last night is that I kept thinking of a friend...a very new believer friend....who I wished was there. She was planning on coming, but it didn't work out for her this week. I will keep praying because I know that she would be so encouraged, and also very challenged to grow in her young relationship with God in this group. It is a blessing and a privilege to be part of a group where I am not embarrassed or ashamed...

Another internet Bible Study has caught my attention, hosted by Lelia . It interested me because authenticity is something I strive for, something that I admire, and something that I believe honors God in our relationships. This book is about seeing what is behind the eyes of women, the untold stories of insecurities or heartaches. I want to be deeply spiritual in my relationships, caring, supportive, and capable. So, by doing this study, I hope to get real with my relationships. In reading the first chapter, the author Lisa Whittle , talks about being a pretender. She says, "Many of us do not go into life wanting to be pretenders, but we have at some point embraced the idea when it suited our desires. ...these cover-ups meet a need at the time to get us more of what we want when we do not believe the truth will." hmmm. I can see where I have done that. I was challenged by this chapter to take authenticity to the next level. The question to be answered: Define the word authe...

Thien sent me this picture in an email a couple of days ago. It is she and my son, Adam, having fun at Kings Dominion in Richmond, VA. I love it that she sends me letters and photos! These are two of my favorite people in the whole wide world! I can't wait to see them when we go to Virginia in November! I am counting down the days!

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.Psalm 51:16-17 I have messed up. She's messed up. We've all messed up. When I allow God to examine my heart, I discover problems in my life. We all will. Some are painful. Some will be embarrassing. Some may be surprising; and some could be very difficult to overcome. The question we need to ask, though, is this: What should we do about these things when God brings them to our attention? To help find an answer, there's no better place to look than at the life of David, the shepherd boy who God hand-picked to be King of Israel. He committed some really serious sins. First, he stole another man's wife. Then in order to cover it up, he murdered her husband, his loyal friend. When God confronted David about his sin, David responded the right way. He was heart-broken to realize...

Today was Ladies Day Out for myself and a group of my friends. We went to lunch and then to see Menopause The Musical. It was very funny, very entertaining, and we laughed until our cheeks hurt. The story takes place in a department store where four women meet over a black bra. It goes on from there. The songs were familiar tunes, but the words have been changed to accompany the theme of Menopause. Very funny. If you get the chance, check it out if the show comes to your area. Oh, and Tricia and I danced on stage with the cast. :) Fun and funny day!

So, I sit here and wait...the joys of motherhood. In about an hour I will go pick up Rebecca, her best friend, and her boyfriend from the Flower Mound Homecoming Dance. Ninth grade Homecoming is coming to a close. There was a parade on Thursday, the game last night (YES, Flower Mound won!) and the dance tonight. It has been as celebratory as Christmas around here. I am dreaming navy and silver. But what fun it has been. I have loved watching my daughter in her first year of High School. It is great that she is enjoying it, participating, and feeling the school spirit. She marched on the Football field last night, she is dancing at the dance tonight. She is dressed up, hanging out with her friends, and enjoying the start of her freshman year. Here are a few pictures just to let you know what we have been experiencing! It is great stuff for a parent. I am having such a good time, loving every minute of the last child of ours to go through this. I am grateful to have the oppor...

There is a song by Hillsong United that has touched my heart and caused me to worship in the deepest way the last year or so. The song is beautiful and touches my soul, causing me to seek the God who I know is God of All, God of Eternity, God of Mercy, and the God of my salvation. Hosanna means Save us! The chorus in this song has become my prayer, many times, and I have prayed with so much truth and desire that it has changed my life and changed my heart. Heal my heart and make it clean Open up my eyes to the things unseen Show me how to love like you have loved me Break my heart from what breaks yours Everything I am for your kingdoms cause As I go from nothing to Eternity The prayer, "break my heart for what breaks yours" has changed who I am and how I think about things. Those of you who know me know that "mercy" is not one of my gifts. I am, in my human nature, not a very compassionate person. I break my own heart at how cold-hearted that I can sometimes be...

I just want to give a shout out to my husband, Fred! He only has 5 weeks and 2 more days until he has completed his Master's Degree! I am so, so proud of him, that he has acheived this personal goal! After many, many years of being a student on and off, he will have finally have it! It has been difficult at times, but God has blessed him, and our entire family during this pursuit. His grades have been good, he has managed to do well in his job, he has been an active father and a great husband during this time. WOO HOO, FRED! You are almost there. Let's plan the party!

In Him we live and move and have our being. Acts 17:28 I love this verse! It reminds me that He is my everything. I live in Him. I move in Him. Because of Him, I am. For more ABC's of the word visit Grey Like Snuffie

There are a few things that I think I would not have ever experienced had I not ever moved to the big, beautiful state of Texas. One of the reasons that I loved my house and wanted to buy it was because of the huge screened in back porch and the fabulous landscaping. What I have found out is that Texas has a lot of bugs and the porch is wonderful because it keeps me un -bugged by these creatures when I spend time outdoors. Also, we have these little beings called chameleons that live here and they love my back yard. Luckily, I love them too because I find them all over the place. Just a couple of nights ago I picked one up and saved him from drowning in my shower. He was just a baby and would have gone down the drain with one shower, but have pity, I scooped him up and took him outside. A couple of nights before that, Fred said to me, "You might want to check the bed before you get in the covers tonight." My obvious reply was, "Why?" He went on to tell me abo...

I love God! He does some pretty amazing things when I least expect it! If you have been reading my blog, or if you know me very well, you might guess that I have felt just a little lonely as of late. It is somewhat ridiculous since I am surrounded by people most of the time, but having just experienced a huge loss of someone very special and very close to me, there is a large hole in my heart that I wonder what to do with sometimes. So, I pray that God will bless me with people in my life that I can minister to, who will help me, who will walk with me as I grow and take care of myself. Having lived in this area for only three years, I don't know a lot of people and I have gone many, many, many places and never run into a soul that I know or even recognize. But last week, I went to visit my new "Home Group" and found my massage therapist is part of the group! Which means she also is part of my church! That was too cool! Then, I went to a meeting at church and ran into my f...

I can always measure my spiritual and emotional health by my ability to worship God. For the first time since June, my mind and heart were totally focused on God during my time of worship this weekend. Praise God! And can I say for the hundredth time....I LOVE MY CHURCH?! And I love that I love my church, especially wondering if I would ever love my church again! My pastor is cool, he is honest, funny, and teaches God's true and Holy word. I am so grateful for his teaching style, the way he does not mince words and the way he makes us laugh about it. I pray for him, and his family daily, that they will be strong in Christ and not tire of what God has called them to do. (it is so clear that he is called, his gift is great) The Village Church is a No Frills church (his words), growing by leaps and bounds with new believers coming to know God every day. It is beautiful to be witness to it and be a part of it. HOW MARVELOUS I stand amazed in the presence Of Jesus the Nazarene, And w...

Last week, I attended a Grief Workshop. I went because it has been suggested to me by people who love me that I am grieving. Although I believed this to be true, I have been frustrated with myself for not being able to "handle this on my own." So, I did what I like to do...I bought a book...on Grief. Some things that have brought clarity and help so far are words like: "It's not just about death." I have experienced death. My brother died at a young age to suicide, my grandmother and great grandmother were tragically killed in a tornado, all my other grandparents have died, many aunts, uncles, friends, and this summer the death of our friend, Jason, rocked my sorrow to the core. I know what loss due to death feels like. And guess what? Grieving feels the same, no matter what the loss. I am grieving the loss of that friendship, the one that was my "best", the one that was suppose to last until old age. I have been embarrassed and angry and deny...

God's mercy and love is so much bigger than what I can understand today. As I prayed the He would bring to mind the things from His word that He wanted to to be aware of, to learn about, and to be challenged with, He brought me the words I share on this blog today. I must admit, when I first began to contemplate my "H" verse for the week, I thought I wanted a "Holy" verse. I remembered verses about being holy, and looked them up in scripture. They were all beautiful, but God kept putting "healed" back into my heart. So, healed it is. I am in great need of God's healing. Without Him, I am a broken, pathetic person, who hurts and who hurts others. With His love, His Spirit, and my desire to turn my life over to His care and guidance, I can be healed of all that icky stuff in my heart and become like Him...HOLY. (Oh, cool...I did get to use it! 1 Peter 1:16 for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy") I remember today, that He is the One...

So, wow. I spent the weekend in the Ozark mountains. The weather was cool, even a little rainy for part of Saturday. This was very refreshing for a Texan who has been suffering in desert type conditions for most of the summer. I loved the way the rain seemed to wash away all my grime, all my worry, and all my sadness. The topic for the retreat was Unity. I wondered how united I would feel. I always feel unity with my mom, who I was with. After all, I am blood of her blood and flesh of her flesh. We share a lot besides our biological unity as well. We share recovery, which was the unity of this retreat. We share love of many of the same concerns and people and although we are very different in many ways, our hearts have the same desire for good and peace and love in the world. That has always united us. But, I was not with "my" friends, I was with hers. There are many advantages to that. Sometimes, I feel like I have many "mothers", and I like it. I feel...

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20 This is the first verse that I ever memorized. I loved it then and I love it even more now. Whenever I think of this verse, whenever God reminds me of this verse (like He did today), I know there is always purpose in my life. I am about having a relationship with my Heavenly Father. I am a teacher of what that means. And no matter what, if I shine bright with His light or stumble and fall in the darkness, my God is always with me. For more ABC's of the word visit Grey Like Snuffie

It is that time again and I am counting down the hours. The annual Heart to Heart retreat is this weekend. My heart and soul longs for the opportunity to retreat with God, to experience peace and quiet and the chance to listen to what He has to say, without interruption and with intention. It has been a tough year. Serenity and the peace of God is my focus and my goal. Instead of dreams of hurt and rejection, I long for dreams of love and joy. Instead of waking with the pang of regret, I yearn for excitement for the future. I know that He can give me these things, and even though every day is a little easier, it is still a challenge, a conscious effort. I am hoping that this weekend will allow me the next level of healing and the courage that I need to change what I can and accept what I can't. I can't wait to get my "word". I can't wait to see friends. I can't wait to spend time with my mom. I can't wait to evaluate how far I have come in my rec...

An entire year has passed since God had me working on authenticity. If you were to read many of my blog entries from last fall, you would know that He was giving me quite a lesson on being rea l. I do think it is rather ironic that it was almost exactly a year ago, and He has brought me right back to the same lesson. Now I think it is because I have gone over the edge...I have not been respectful as I have spoken very honestly which has brought pain to others. So, when I saw that my blog friend, Lelia, was hosting the book Behind The Eyes by Lisa Whittle for the Blog Bible Study, I checked out the author's blog ( Check it out here ), liked what I saw, and signed up on Lelia's Blog. I am looking forward to reading this book and learning more about Godly authenticity. I yearn for relationships that are real, where honesty is priority, and love like the love of God is what is exchanged. Why is it so difficult to be who we really are? Why does it seem that when we are, we a...

This is the front of the t-shirt that I bought for my (former) best friend to give to her while I was visiting (what I thought would be) her in Virginia. I came home with the shirt still in my suitcase because she canceled the plans we made on the day that I was planning on giving it to her. My heart was broken and love was about the last thing I thought the summer of 2008 would represent. But as Labor Day weekend comes to a close, and I am exhausted from the pool party that was hosted at my home today, I am recapping the summer and feeling like there was quite a bit of love. I have made some of the best new friends that I could ask for. One's who know my heart quickly because of the place I was emotionally when we met. Friends who have been here for me all summer, praying, supporting, and just having some plain old fun! My family is fantastic and I think that the longer my husband and I are married, the better our marriage gets. Talk about love....(wink, wink), it really does get ...