Monday, February 9, 2009

Forever

As soon as I met her
I hoped we would click
Her words when she spoke - intriguing
Different than mine, but still right.
Open and chatty, and how I yearned for a friend.
I was new.
Small children and cross country move
My heart was lonely, missing.
She accepted, willing.

Every week we would meet with others
to study, to share and to listen.
We wrote notes not paying attention
And laughed at our childish fun.
Add phone conversations for hours on end.
My phone friend.
Years went by, our children grew.
Our friendship grew, deeper.
My love, unconditional.

Through thick and through thin
In pain and in joy
We journeyed together.
My laughter she smiled and my tears she was patient
Taking time to hear my heart.
Holding my hand.
Her turn came and she pulled away.
I waited and waited
And prayed for the day.

Reunited we were, my joy had returned.
If we made it through this
forever friends we would be
But her pain intensified
My fear jumped outside
My mouth flew right open
Insensitive and wrong.
Apologies poured out
I guess the pain is too deep
I don't want to talk
to you.

I don't know what to say
has never been said
in all of those years and time with my friend.
My heart is in pieces
The lion, he roars
Tells me I am not worthy
"See what you've done?"
But I will not listen.
I know who I am.
And my love is still strong
Unconditional, my friend.

7 comments:

grey like snuffie said...

WOW

Laura said...

So real, Liz. It breaks my heart. Relationships are hard. Sometimes, it doesn't work out the way we want...But God's timing is perfect, and it isn't over yet, friend. Keep praying your heart to Him about this.

I will too.

Letters From Midlife said...

This says so much. Thank you for sharing it.

Tina said...

dear friend
Know that I love you
I am in a fierce battle
I need to just be for now
I cherish your love and prayers
I will call when I am able

Liz said...

I love you too, Tina. Always, and I will wait. Prayers for you, fervent and groaning.

Paula (SweetPea) said...

This is beautiful. Relationships in this world, I've determined, are the toughest part of this life. I believe there is a reason and lesson in that as we walk a Christian life. Christ is all about relationships and God created us to also be relational people. There is nothing more painful than to be left behind, abandon, by a relational that means so much to us. I know your pain. I'm living the pain of my own abandonment of my beloved. Nothing harder than when we just want to love and give and have that person return back to us just a morsel of the unconditional love we have for them.

Two crutial points: His timing and His way. Hard but really trying to surrender to that.
Love,
Paula

Stacy said...

Dear Liz,
Your writing is beautiful. I still find it ironic how a relationship filled with such a profound depth of love can also be accompanied by a profound depth of pain. I will be praying for you and your friend and for the proper timing of a restoration in this relationship.
Sending a hug, Stacy