Liz's Letters

If you are one of those "perfect" people, who does not admit to any wrong doing in your life, does not struggle with making good choices, and if you like to criticize those of us who know we do, go read somebody else's blog today. Progress, not perfection. What a wonderful thing. I have heard this phrase on and off for years, but only recently adopted it as a philosophy in my own life. Even though I would say things like, "Just take one step at a time" or similar sentences as I talked to myself about whatever I was working on at the time, I always seemed to be more focused on the goal, the finished product, or the outcome. I am impatient with myself (and often times with others) and want to see results faster than what is sometimes realistic. When I had my birthday back in November, I decided that age 46 would be "the year of health". I prefer to use my own birth date to begin change as opposed to the New Year's Resolutions. Taking personal invento...

When I woke up this morning, my heart was racing, I was shaky and sweaty, and I felt downright terrified. As I lay in my warm and comfortable bed I realized that I had been dreaming when the alarm went off. The last thing I remember from my dream is leaving a room full of people and a person stopped me to kiss me goodbye. I was startled when I realized that the person who did this in the dream is someone who has called me "Enemy" and someone who I daily choose forgiveness toward. The kiss was a simple one on the cheek. The scene is still clear in my mind. I had turned to go and said person called out my name which caused me to turn around. There he stood with his arms stretched out and as I approached him, he embraced me and kissed me on the cheek. The next thing I remember is the alarm going off. The alarm on the clock is not the only alarm going off today. I am disturbed by the dream, wondering what it means. Where is Daniel when I need him! I don't know if I should wor...

Stoked...ready to hit the slopes! Felicia, Yvonne, Jessica, and myself on the deck of the condo. Quick stop to store up on energy...some protein and carbs by way of a big breakfast and a bunch of good, hot coffee! This is the Sunshine Cafe in Dillon, CO! Great food! Oh! These ski boots are SO heavy! I don't know if I can walk out of here! We will be here for you! Yvonne and Liz on the Gondola "V" is for Vonne and "L" is for Liz...NOT loser! This is Felicia getting a pep talk from Yvonne. She thinks skiing is a white people sport! We called her Diva since all she wanted to do was look cute. We got her up on the mountain, but she walked down! She did not like skiing because there was no motor and no breaks. Plus, she wanted someone to carry her skis for her. (she found someone! Ha!) Diva for sure...she waited for us in the lodge! Jessica and myself, kicked back enjoying the ride! The view was great and we couldn't wait to start skiing! Here we are on our first...

The snow is heavy. The skiing is great. The food is filling. The company is fun. Good trip. Needed break. The air is as fresh as I thought it would be. Clear air, clear head. I am glad that I came. Four of us traveled out here together. Tonight we are down to two of us remaining at the condo. Relaxed. Contemplative. Honest. Opportunities to change things about where we have been and where we want to be. Funny how God presents opportunities to show us things that we need to see. Something interesting happened that is not my story to tell, but as I think about what I saw, what we said, how I felt, I know that God is working in my life and in the lives of others around me. Rough roads ahead, but sometimes we have to go through the rockies to get to the fields of grace.

The day is here...I am off to Colorado tomorrow. Woo Hoo! I have the fattest suitcase ever! I can't believe how much room it takes to pack for 4 days of snow. And we ladies have divvied up on some things, ie...one shampoo to share, one blow dryer, etc. Most important, I have warm clothes. I have gloves, insulated under clothing, socks, socks, and more socks...and books. If I get cold, I will head to the lodge with a good book, sit by the fire and drink hot cocoa. No matter what we do, I will be in the mountains. I hope to come home with a perspective that is as fresh as the newly fallen snow. See you next week!

I won't be the circus for you to star in I won't leave you roses to watch them die You won't be the heartache that keeps me sleepless You won't be the songs that I could never write I don't want to stay, I don't want to fall I don't want to have to see you leave me I don't want to take, I don't want to lose it all Maybe I'm a fake, maybe you're a lie Maybe our last chance died with last night I don't want to stay, I don't want to fall in love with you again I won't be a fortress for you to hide in I won't be the first one you think to call You won't be the regrets that I can't live with And we won't be the last ones to ever have to lose it all I don't want to stay, I don't want to fall I don't want to have to see you leave me I don't want to take, I don't want to lose it all Maybe I'm a fake, maybe you're a lie Maybe our last chance died with last night I don't want to stay, I don...

Life can sometimes be stormy and rainy and sometimes it is difficult to see through all the water that seems to be coming up around me like a flood. There is an aspect of my life where the storm has carried on for a long time. Occasionally, days would look clear, but often times it resembled a rainforest, or maybe a monsoon. However I choose to describe it, the icky, muddy water coninued to surround me. But, even though not all days have been bright and sunny, my security in Christ has always been there. I know He is walking with me every step of the way. The storms of life come and go. Sometimes there is even a flood. I am looking at sunnier days ahead, but when the thunder starts to roll again in the distance, if it looks like the clouds might be moving my direction, I know that I am washed clean in Jesus Christ. Even when the rain falls Even when the flood starts rising Even when the storm comes I am washed by the water Even if the Earth crumbles under my feet Even if the ones I lov...

The days are counting down to the girl's ski trip. Only three more nights and I will lay my eyes on the beauty of the Rocky Mountains. It has been years since I have seen the Rockies, much less spent time skiing there. I can't wait to look up at the mountain peaks as I leave the Denver airport. I look forward to the crisp, cold air...breathing the freshness into my lungs. I love the way the sun goes down in the mountains, quickly and the night comes before you know it. I can't wait to hear the crackle of the fire in the lodge, the warm drinks, and the laughter of having fun. I am eager to take the lift to the top of a mountain, looking down and all around and seeing the beauty of God's fantastic creation...the snow, the trees, the rocks, and the steep amazing mountain range. I hope that I stay upright as I slide down the mountainside on two long sticks, trying to keep my balance, going faster than I feel comfortable with, and hearing the swoosh of the snow as my ...

Years ago, I saw a movie that gave me a good idea. The family in the movie played a game everyday called "High Low". At the end of everyday, each family member would express to the family what was the high point of their day and what was the low point of their day. After watching the movie, I adopted that game as one of our regular family dinner time ice breakers. My kids would roll their eyes some days (especially my boys) because they really didn't want to participate. But, it was not an option, all must play and play they did. I found out great things about my family during those mealtimes, I learned how to rejoice with them and how to pray for them. We still play it, although not as often. I have played it privately myself, in my quiet time with my Lord and have found it to be a beneficial way of gaining clearer perspective on my life. Then a few years back, I heard Oprah Winfrey talk about a journal she keeps called "Things Worth Remembering" The ...

Just a quick thank you to the friends and family members who read this the last couple of weeks blogs and called to love me and support me. Those whom were hurt by the comments that were meant to hurt me, I love you. As you know, I am working on the things that grieve me and grieve God. I am glad for your love and support (instead of ridicule and criticism) as I travel this road to be more like Christ. Your phone calls and emails lifted my heart and give me hope! Teanut, especially you! Thanks.

OK, Enough of all that serious stuff...on to the real life matters and the real reason for this blog...keeping my loved ones informed of the life of Liz. My sister called this evening and she and my dad both were frustrated with the negativity of the "non" loved ones that read my blog (GO AWAY!) that they are having to weed through in order to get to the real stuff in my life! (I know they love me and I love them....family...what a blessing! It just hurts them to see such yuck.) So, a loved one update.... Aaron's girlfriend, Amy's sister FINALLY had her baby last week! His name is Jack Thomas (after his Great Grandpa and his Grandpa) and he weighed in at 6 lbs. 9 oz. of absolute and total perfection. So, nine months of waiting for these two (not the parents) was spent going back and forth about Aaron's fear of holding this newborn child. Amy would insist that he would hold him, and Aaron would insist that he would not. It became almost a joke within both fa...

The following message came to me from someone yesterday as a result of my recent posts. I did not post the comment since I thought it deserved an entire post. “The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity” Evident in your entries as opposed to your actions. It is apparent to me that many ideas and entries that you have writen as your own thoughts, are actually gross distortions of His holy word. Is is never OK to justify anger and hatred with scripture and references to the most merciful one, nor quoting alanon to justify your selfishness. Reading through the last several weeks of your entries, I noticed that you come across as borderline self-righteous. Sadened Websters defines a hypocrite as: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings I will admit, to God and everyone that, yes, I am sometimes a hypocrite. That is why I need Jesus in my life. Without Him, I am the worst excuse of a person. I appre...

Just a little fun post... I am going on a ski trip soon. There is a group of us girls who work together, one coming all the way from Raleigh, North Carolina, who are going on a ski trip! It is going to be a blast. We are all flying into Denver airport and taking a limousine to our condo. Funny...a car service. One of the girls is married a record promoter and best friend of producer and singer, Timbaland. She is used to the "finer things" so she is making sure that we are doing it up right! We are shopping, dining, skiing, and pampering ourselves and each other for nearly 4 entire days. If I ever was looking forward to a trip, this is one of the ones. I can't wait to spend time relaxing and playing with no enemies to dodge, no work to do, nothing to do but have fun.

God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 For God so loved you....... For God so loved me........ Don't ever doubt it. We know that He loves us by just looking at the cross where He proved His love for us, the one's who question Him, the one's who reject Him, the one's who mock Him... We can look at that cross and see "I love you" written in red, His blood. Happy Valentine's Day

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. This was the first prayer that I ever learned. In my childhood home, this prayer hung on the wall in the family dining area. It was directly across the room, in my line of vision, when I sat down to eat every meal until I was in the sixth grade. I had it memorized long before I knew what it meant. In adulthood, I have heard the prayer over and over, even prayed it a few times myself, but not until recently, has it become my way of life. Back in September, I knew it was time for me to do something that has been recommended to me for years and I finally made the commitment to give it a try a couple of months ago. I am now attending a recovery meeting every week in which I pray this prayer, with other's whose struggles are similar to mine, with the same purpose in mind...to turn our lives over to the care and will of God. To bring sereni...

For all of my life, people have commented on what a "people person" I am. I love people and my relationships are a high priority in my life. My family and my friends bring more joy and pleasure than anything else (besides my relationship with God...who is THE BEST!) and there is no other way I would spend time than with people, if given a choice. This is a good thing, but at times it is a difficult thing. When things are good in my relationships, when priorities are right, healthy boundaries are set and followed, I thrive on these relationships. They are my life blood. But, I also have developed some behavior patterns (no offense to the alcoholics and addicts in my life) that created some issues of co dependence, control, and chaos. It seems that I will hang on to relationships with people who are not always the best for me. I think I can fix them. Or I can love them enough to make things work. And when things don't, I find myself with a long list of resentments. (some of...

A friend of mine read my blog titled Reputations the other day and asked me if I would give her the names of the ones who I used in the blog. Some of you are thinking, "That is a bold request", but this is a friend, who in the past, I have shared just about everything with and there is nothing I could say that would surprise her. As I went through the names of those that I had used as examples, she wondered about a few people who I had not mentioned and wondered what their titles were. The one that stuck out to both of us was a former neighbor of mine, who we both knew. He and his (now former) wife were good friends of my husband and myself, and the friend I was speaking with also had some social interaction with them as well. At times my relationship with this neighbor was rocky. He is a very outspoken guy and sometimes came across a little rude. He and I have had a few run-ins in the course of the nearly 11 years we were neighbors, a few of them were tough to move pa...

Has anyone ever said to you, "I am just not myself."? I have had someone say that to me recently, in fact, the same person has said this to me several times over the past couple of years. There was a woman who I worked with some time ago and she would use the phrase, "My world is just not lining up today." Another friend of mine and I were discussing how we feel when we don't feel like ourselves and realized that we are very much alike in that we almost always feel like ourselves, but occasionally there are days where we are simply a little down, things are not quite right, there is just something that has effected the way we "usually" feel. It would be alarming to myself and also to this friend of mine to feel "not myself" for more than a day or two. So, as is usual to myself when something catches my attention like this, I have pondered it, tossed it around in my head and my heart, even thinking about what God thinks about us not being ours...

I have to post a little blog about my recent Girls Night Out. Ashley (pictured here with me) and I went to see Casting Crowns in downtown Ft. Worth on Saturday night. I have been looking forward to going for months and was thrilled to have Ashley go with me. We made ourselves beautiful and headed out on the town early enough to grab a nice dinner before the concert began. Now, I have to tell you, we both had on nifty high heeled black boots thinking we would look cute and all. What were we thinking? We parked in a parking garage across the street from the convention center, thinking we would walk to a restaurant to eat dinner. Well, we did, but we walked for blocks! I had spent an hour and a half in the gym with my work out crazy husband and Ashley had been on her elliptical machine! We kept our heads high, our attitudes positive, but our feet were screaming for relief! The concert was wonderful. The band was entertaining, talented, and led us in a wonderful time of reflectin...

I have been a little worried about myself all day. I think I might be a bad person. I watched the Super Bowl game last night with every hope that the Giants would win and as you can imagine was thrilled when the game ended with Giants 17, Patriots 14. I had no ties to either team and no real preference. I even believe that the Patriots are a better team than the Giants. But there was something mean in me that wanted the Giants to win for the simple reason that the Patriots had not lost. I thought about my attitude, a little concerned about how mean it is that I felt that way. I have a tendency to base my opinions on football teams based on the quarterback. And not just the quarterback's playing ability, but his looks always contribute to whether or not I like the team. Now, Tom Brady is a guy who is nice to look at, but Eli Manning has taken too many hard raps from the media and I have felt a little sorry for him. He is cute for a boy, but I really wanted him to redeem himself from...

When my daughter asked me that question, "Is it me?" my mommy heart broke into a million pieces. She had returned home from a youth service in which the topic was "Friends". For her, the road to finding fun, strong, Christian friendships has been difficult since our move to Texas two and a half years ago. She left behind a group of solid friends, some of whom she had known since she was a baby, one who had been her "best" friend through thick and thin. I knew it would take time for her (and myself) to reestablish friendships that are meaningful and healthy, and middle school timing would add challenges in itself. Since moving here, she has not lacked for friends, but they have moved in and out of her life like storm clouds. Loyalty has not been a character trait that she has found in her middle school friends. I have watched her, encouraged her, and prayed for her. She seemed to be handling it as an accepted part of middle school life, until the other nigh...