Last week, my daughter and I went to spend Spring Break with family. Our flight was lovely, the weather perfect, and we were looking forward to a stress free week. The first thing we did was eat lunch at one of our favorite Thai restaurants. As usual, we looked forward to our fortune cookies. We took turns reading and laughing...and then my daughter opened hers - "Be prepared for a change in plans." Uh-oh. We didn't like this one but we decided our week would be stress free and fun in spite of what a cookie said.
Continuing on through out the day, all was well until that night. I sat outside on the porch of a friend I have known for 35 years and received news that changed something I have believed for 30 years. The words were horrible and made me so ill that I got sick within minutes - in a parking lot on the way to dinner for heaven's sake! What I heard changed my outlook on a major, traumatic even in my life to something else. I felt like I had been punched. This was NOT stress free! My dear friend had no intention of causing hurt, but she knew I would want to know. I love her for her honesty and her truthfulness continues to cement our friendship.
You really can be going along, minding your own business and something unexpected happens that rocks your whole world.
I will never know exactly the events that took place 30 years ago, and no matter how and why they happened, horrible is the only description either way. What I do know is God is still in control. He is my strength and my hope even in this. He gives me all I need to live through it and live with it.
Today I am grateful for
- my wonderful God who hold me up when life is just too hard for me alone.
- my husband who got almost as upset as I did when I told him the news and has been totally sensitive.
- my friends who I can call and talk this through with, especially my wonderful sponsor.
- those who love me and mourn with me.
- a counselor who cried when I told her what had happened - she is great.
- healthy, beautiful children.