Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Lose the Blame Game

One day last week, I read a meditation reading that has stuck with me for 5 days now.
(Isn't that what we hope will happen when we read these things?)
The specific question that was asked in this particular reading, and the thought that has haunted me ever since is,

"What would happen if we stopped blaming anyone for anything?"

Placing blame is not foreign to me.
Thinking long and hard about my own responsibility with blame,
I realized that I didn't have to learn this well practiced human trait.
And as I struggled with feeling like a "bad" person, I was able to stop my thoughts long enough to place the blame where it really belonged...Adam and Eve, in the book of Genesis!
Of course, I can blame them...they started this whole thing anyway!
But seriously,
how quickly and how naturally our human nature wants to point the finger when things don't go well, or when we make a wrong decision, or we .... sin.
So, I gave myself a little exercise.
I decided I would try and catch myself anytime I tried to place blame on someone, something, or even myself, and then make the choice to not do it!
I really didn't think it would be that difficult to do.
(after all, I have done a lot of work in this area)

Ha! - again!

Lack of sleep was to blame.
My kids were to blame.
My husband was to blame.
The quiet was to blame.
The noise was to blame.
and on and on.

Yesterday, there was an accident on the highway that I travel to and from work.
and it happened when I was trying to make a 5:30 cycle class at the gym.
I blamed.
I didn't make the class.
The truth is, there was an accident on the highway. I did not get to the location of the gym until 30 minutes after the start of class, so I chose to not attend.
No blame.
Not even myself.
If I stop blaming anyone for anything,
might it be possible that I would experience miracles?
I would experience tolerance?
What rich spiritual blessings might occur as a result of eliminating blame and taking responsibility for my part in all things, even if just my attitude and choices.
Is it possible?
Would I experience real joy? Deep fulfillment?

"Who is to blame? Whom have I the right to blame? Let me concentrate on keeping my own conduct from being at fault; more I cannot do."
~One Day At A Time in Al-Anon
Sept. 24

Not to blame~


Paula (SweetPea) said...

Great post, Liz.

Billy Coffey said...

When I started reading this I thought, "Oh, I don't have this problem. I don't blame people."

And then you got into lack of sleep. And kids. And noise. And quiet. And then I realized that I do. Oh yes, I do.

Great post, Liz.