Beth Moore has been one of my favorite Bible Study teachers and authors for over ten years. (She is a fantastically gifted teacher and I always am pointed to God when listening to her speak) Being able to sit -live- under her instruction was one of my desires fulfilled and I am so glad to have been in San Antonio, at Living Proof, with one of the best friends I could ever ask for...my dear friend, Susan, sitting beside me.
I had a specific prayer request for the weekend, as did Susan. We agreed to pray for each other and we will continue to pray for each other as God answered our prayers; but we both still need to take the time to meditate on what we heard. God's answers for me goes deep and will be a process, but He is good and He did provide answers that are immediate, life changing, and clear.
Having been living in a "pit" (as Beth affectionately calls it), I have been trying to find my way out for some time. Many times, I have been nearly to the top and I will either jump back in, fall back in, or get pushed back in. I come out for "visits", but have made my home in this pit as I have lived in anger, hurt, and the desire to get even for way too long. My prayer was for peace and healing.
God is so good. The minute the conference began, God's word rolled on the power point presentation. The room was dark. The music was playing. My heart began to pound when I saw the words of Psalm 16 spelled out for me to read. Yes, ME to read. Any of you who have seen my blog this summer, I selected Psalm 16, verse 11 as the verse that represented ME, this blog...which represents the journey of my heart. When I returned from Virginia and the pain of what happened in my friendship with Ruth was more than I thought I could bear, God gave me, yes ME, Psalm 16. It has been my prayer and my hope for the last two months...and there it was, staring me directly in my face and speaking directly to my heart. I knew God was answering my prayer.
In my time with Him this weekend, I am absolutely certain that I am an heir of God. I am a co-heir with Jesus Christ. He is my portion and I am His! I know I have received an inheritance from God, for he chose me in advance, and he makes everything (even this summer) work out according to his plan.
I know that God forgives all sin.
Psalm 16 says it all. It brings me full circle in my relationship with Him. I am starting over. I have rededicated my life, turning myself over to the care and will of God. I have no more enemies. I pray for reconciliation in the relationships that are broken. I will do everything that I can to bring peace to all my relationships and glory to God. I will expect miracles.
"You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you."
As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.
The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.
The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
I AM LIVING PROOF THAT GOD CHANGES LIVES!