Happy Tuesday! It is time for the weekly thoughts on the book study Behind Those Eyes. Check out Lelia's blog for more information and look up the author, Lisa Whittle. Good stuff on both of these blogs!
Chapter 6 is entitled, Cosmetics for the Soul. Lisa shared a story about working a part time job at a cosmetics counter. A woman approached, covered, hat, sunglasses and all, because she was hiding horrible scars from burns. Lisa spent around an hour concealing the woman's scars with cosmetics until she felt a little better about what she saw when she looked in the mirror. She used the story to illustrate how we, as women, try to conceal things about ourselves in order to hide the truth and escape rejection from others. This hit home with me when I read it. I will do almost anything to avoid rejection!
Lisa say in chapter 6:
We use concealer - cosmetics for our souls - that will camouflage those places in our hearts that are uglier than we want to see.
I understand. I have done this.
Lisa also suggest that Satan has been lying to us, but that we seem to buy into those lies. I agree. He says, You are too damaged. You are unworthy of love. You have missed it. You'll never have a future. The back yard bully has gone from subtle whispers to outright yells in our ears as he tries to convince us of our complete hopelessness in life...and we believe him.
Oh, and I have believed him. On bad days. But I do know the truth. I know who I REALLY am and I become free and real as I quit trying to cover up, let go of guilt and regrets, and live the truth! God is merciful and fair. And He wants me to be open, honest, and fully satisfied with my life.
I love Psalm 103:1, 5 Praise the Lord...who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles.
The challenge question for this chapter, Are you currently satisfied or dissatisfied with your life?
I wish I could say that I am completely satisfied. My life is good and in many areas it is satisfying. But there are still areas that I need to turn over to Him. I think I will try the exercise in the back of the book - writing down the words needy, broken, and hurt and defining how I am these things in my life currently. My desire is to give them to Him.
Chapter 7 - The Feelings We Conceal.
This chapter was difficult for me, and I am not going to cover that up. :) If you have read my blog for any length of time, you know that my "best" friendship has disintegrated. The reasons? Insecurity, jealousy, and fear. All the things that Lisa warns about in this chapter (regarding best friendships) is what brought my dear friendship to an end. Both of us. One husband was jealous. This caused deep insecurity because there was always a fear that the friendship would be "forced" to end. (the husband made those threats in angry outbursts) And on and on the insecurity, jealousy, and fear went...until it spun out of control and now the friendship is over.
I don't give up all hope. I have had a glimpse of that wonderful, committed non-jealous friendship that Lisa describes in this chapter. Sometimes, it is what I experienced in that friendship. I know what it is like. And it was beautiful and sweet and Godly. I still long for that UNCONCEALED friendship. And pray that reconciliation will come. And that God will satisfy that desire in my heart - in one way or another.
Once again, I find challenge in the questions in the Bible Study guide of the book. (thank you, Lisa, for putting these in here!)
Have I ever felt the brunt of another woman's jealousy toward me? Oh, yes! And it hurts! Some of it has been revealed on this blog. Some of it has been posted by way of comments. And only out of knowing the truth...that God desires healthy relationships...is what gives me the courage to continue making female friends.
The challenge question is a challenge! What is the most painful feeling for me to conceal? I will have to think about this and get back to you. I think it has to do with this same longing for real friendships. My husband is a wonderful friend and I can go to him with anything. But there is something special about having a "David / Jonathan" friend that makes life more joyful and satisfying.
And I will write that letter to someone I have hurt out of my feelings of insecurity, jealousy, loneliness, or fear. And I will pray.
What a blessing it is to have this blog, to share what is on my heart, to be real with the hurts, the fears, and the joys of this journey.
Thank you for looking behind my eyes, and I look forward to looking behind yours.
Off to read some blogs.........