Full Circle

Today could have been a difficult day for me, emotionally and spiritually. The day started off good. I spent time with God, had a nice time of prayer and set off for work with a positive attitude about the day.

I called a friend of mine in Kansas to set up a weekend visit and the conversation was positive and full of excitement. My half sister is getting married in a town where I used to live, so I am looking forward to her wedding and then some time with my old and dear friends who I was in a prayer group with for many years. Life is good.

I started my day at work, handling problems which takes up a good portion of my day. Oddly, I like to solve problems, and I was on a roll. Midway through the morning, something happened that changed my entire attitude about the day. Instead of pausing and thinking it through, I took action immediately. I had several people holding me accountable to NOT doing exactly what I did. Ugh. So after I did what I had done, I had to make some phone calls and turn myself in, so to speak.

So, I set up a plan to not let it happen again. I am grateful for those people in my life who walk me through my mistakes, listen to me and love me in spite of them. One of my favorite friendship quotes is posted on my blog, "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" and I experienced that today. Sometimes, I am surprised by who walks in during hard times and disappointed by the ones who don't. But today was a day that I accepted things as they were. Even though some who I thought were my friends really aren't, I discovered the ones who really are and it is a beautiful thing.

The day got better. I talked to a few people and then I let myself experience what I was experiencing. I cussed, I took a walk, I fumed, and then I prayed. Finally. Then I cried.

Afterward, I went back to doing my job and it was good. I was productive. I was thinking clearly. I gained control of my attitude and accepted my feelings, my mistakes, and moved into taking positive action.

I left my workplace and went to the gym where I work out several times a week. I knew my husband was there, so I found him as soon as I could. He walked to greet me and saw the look in my eyes. I told him what had happened and he said the most loving thing ever..."Liz, I have watched you deal with this for a long time. I have seen a huge change in you in the three years we have been in Texas. Your anger and bitterness are gone. I live with you, I see it. Let it go." LET IT GO! Oh, the acceptance of a man who loves me for who I am. What a wonderful blessing. I went on to work out and ran the best time that I have since my start back to physical fitness. (12.4 minute mile...x3!...I know it doesn't sound like much, but it is quite an improvement since January!) Plus, I measured my body fat and have lost 2%! Little steps. A reminder for me and how to take action. Little steps. Keep it simple.

I left the gym feeling on top of the world. I came home to a comfortable home. I cooked dinner with my husband. I took a bubble bath. Then my daughter and I went to a meeting. (she babysits and I attend a recovery meeting) I reported to my sponsor and the others in the group the type of day that I had. They listened. They loved. They did not judge. And they helped. More accountability. Words of encouragement and truth about what I can change and what I cannot.

The day started out beautiful. Something happened that threatened to steal my serenity and my joy. I even messed up, doing something that I had resolved not to do. But it is OK. The day was still beautiful. And I won a CD to boot! (See Lelia's blog) I can't think of when I have ever won anything! But I did, and I expect what is on the CD is exactly what I need to hear. That's the way God works and that is how He has worked today. He is sovereign. This entire day was planned for me. He is so good and the day was perfect!

The day started off beautiful and full of hope. The day ended beautiful and full of hope. Full circle.